Month: November 2011

So I’m feeling a bit better. Man, I read through those last few blog posts and kind of wanted to punch past me in the face. Seriously, people. I am not somebody that you want to spend a lot of time around at That Time™. Or I am if you like to punch people in the face. You know, if that’s your thing.

Apparently the kids at Penn State were all experiencing That Time™ too because that is the only thing that can explain rioting when a jackass like Paterno gets fired. It’s maddening, actually. When I heard this was going on, it made me sad for the World that these kids with their selfish, ridiculous decision making skills are the future.

Students chanted “one more game” – asking that the university to allow him to at least coach in the final home game of the season, at home to Nebraska Saturday, so fans could pay tribute to what he has accomplished. (Source: article)

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? This man did NOTHING when he realized that his long time friend and coworker was molesting minors and you are going to PROTEST because he was FIRED? He should have been fired AND arrested the minute this story became public and it SICKENS me that there is a group of people rallying behind this man.

Not that I really EVER think that protesting is okay. We live near Oakland, Land of the Idiot Protesters, where it seems like the normal response to hurt feelings is to loot and generally fuck up your local community. I’ve never understood how that’s an appropriate response:

I am mad that somebody hurt my community (like the recent verdict in the Oscar Grant trial) so instead of finding a way to BOOST the moral in my community, I’m going to light my neighbor’s car on fire, steal from the local business owners and beat up the police that are just trying to protect me.

MAKES SENSE TO ME!

Of course, I don’t think that ignorant tweets like this one from Ashton Kutcher helped the situation at all:

“How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste”

Good article about the tweet and the backlash here. And an interesting follow up where his assistant basically makes a complete ass out of both of them here.

For the record, I’ve NEVER been a fan of how Ashton has basically deemed himself the King of Twitter. I’m sorry, and this will sound incredibly elitist, BECAUSE IT IS, but I (and most of my online friends) were on twitter for an entire two years before that jackass figured out it even existed. And honestly? It was better off BEFORE he did. I liked it when my stream was full of my favorite geeks talking about my favorite geeky things and nobody else “got it”.

HE didn’t make twitter big. Twitter made HIM big. Without it, he would not have the media reach he has today and actually, today he has a bit less of a reach. I unfollowed him after that tweet. Not just because of the tweet itself which was bad enough but because after he realized the enormous mistake he’d made, he blogged that he was going to turn his feed over to his “team” and I’m sorry, but that’s an incredibly coward move. Apologize for the mistake, take the backlash like a man and then move on. Running away and letting your peons handle your feed for you because you can’t take people not agreeing with your asinine opinion means you are probably too sensitive to be putting yourself out there like that online anyway.

The internet isn’t a place for people that don’t have the backbone to deal with people that disagree with you. If it was, I’d have been chased away years ago. And one thing that you should NEVER do is beg for followers (which he did OFTEN to have the biggest follower count) then turn around and abandon your “brand”. Apparently he doesn’t have this internet thing as figured out as he thought he did.

I was going to cop out of this post by doing a Thursday type meme but I looked and all of the ones I found were lame so instead I’m just copping out altogether.

Plus, there are really important things I need to deal with. Like this giant glass of Ovaltine and a Sookie Stackhouse book.

Good News: I didn’t cry at all today.
Bad News: I ALMOST cried when I let The Hormones talk me into eating a bagel at a meeting today and I felt like CRAP afterwards. CRAP.

Good News: The sunset tonight was AMAZING.
Bad News: I saw it from the car. It was the fourth hour I’d spent driving my car today. My butt was numb.

Good News: I looked pretty cute today.
Bad News: Bloating, cramps and Spanx do not mix. TRUST. Also, 13 hours in high heel boots. UGH.

Good News: The feeling when I took off those boots.

Bad News: Tomorrow is not Friday.

And I am exhausted. GOODNIGHT!

You guys, I’M SORRY. I apologize in advance for how much this post sucks.

My day was just, you know, a day.

Wake up before the sun, dress in the dark, drive to work, still no sun yet, work, work, work, come home, run, come home, grocery store, come home, cook, eat, bath, and now here with Castle on in the background.

I’m kind of sad because I have to run AS SOON AS I get home or I will have to run in the dark. Tonight I ran back on the path that runs along the levy in our little town. They have a paved path but I like to run the dirt trail closer to the creek with one of the dogs and it started to get that gray dusk color and all of the sudden I was like… Ummm, this is kind of sketchy and I really want don’t have to have to use this pepper spray I carry so I’m going to ahead and get back on the main path.

And my legs are killing me because Kumo, who is SUCH A GOOD DOG in like EVERY OTHER WAY, pulls a lot on these runs and instead of focusing on my pace and form, I’m fighting him from pulling me and it causes my shins to THROB even when I have the wraps on. I swear the dude is the sit/stay king. He’ll sit while we walk 50 yards away then come when we tell him to. I will drop ANYTHING, including food, with a Leave It. He will sit in front of his food and drool PROFUSELY till you tell him Take It so he can eat. He is SO WELL BEHAVED. But put a leash on him and suddenly he turns into a neurotic freak that has to SMELL ALL THE SMELLS RIGHT NOW ALL OF THEM COME ON HURRY THERE ARE MORE SMELLS!

We made an appointment this Saturday for the local Cesar Milan to come do some one-on-one training with us. I’m so happy because I LOVE having one of them with me. People leave me alone, they get exercise, it’s a win/win. And Danica is like, the model dog. Walks perfectly beside me, then trots happily along when I’m running. I don’t even have to hold her leash, I just wrap it around my wrist and know that she’ll not pull at all.

So that was my day. My BIG EVENT was the dog dragging me around like a toy.

OH! No! There was one other thing. So for some reason after my run I was craving asparagus LIKE WHOAH. I don’t even. I blame it on aunt flow. Sometimes I crave chocolate, some times I crave brussel sprouts. I guess it could be worse.

So we are at the grocery store and I’m talking non-stop about how we need to NOT FORGET TO GET ASPARAGUS And Cassidy is like I GET IT! ASPARAGUS! SHUT UP.

So we get to where the asparagus usually is and… there’s carrots instead. I walk a big circle around the vegetable section like three times and I’m SO MAD at myself for not buying it when Ben saw it on Sunday and suggested I buy it but I said no, I wanted FRESH asparagus on the day I made it. And now there is NONE and Cassidy is suggesting other things.

LOOK! BRUSSEL SPROUTS! LET’S GET THESE, MOM! THEY ARE SO GOOD!

And I’m like, I’m about to cry. Because my legs hurt so bad and it’s already dark and late and THERE IS NO FUCKING ASPARAGUS IN THIS STORE and just as I’m about to just say FUCK ALL THIS, leave the basket where it is and drive to In & Out and gorge my sorrows on an animal style burger… I see it. They moved the damn asparagus to an island at the front of the section. Because it’s on sale.

And then instead of tears of frustration, I’m actually wiping away tears of joy and Cassidy is like DUDE! You’re totally losing your mind.

So I have like one or two days at the beginning of THAT TIME where I turn into a little bit of a fucking mess and guess what, you get a front row seat!

Tune in tomorrow when I cry because the toilet paper is on the roll the wrong way.

This time change thing? Yeah, not meant for people of the airhead population. First of all, Ben’s been replacing all the outlets in our new soon to be workout room (formerly The Blue Room, now the Licorice Red Room) and every time he changes one (been doing them over a few days before going to work in the mornings) he has to turn off all the breakers which resets my alarm clock. Like every day. Seriously.

So I woke up Sunday morning and it was light out and my clock read 3:05AM. WHAT!? I thought we got one extra hour of sleep how is it light outside already!? Looked at my phone, turns out it’s like 7:30AM. OH! HA! RESET CLOCK TO CORRECT TIME!

Then at some point much later (SLEEPING IN IS AWESOME) I wandered downstairs and was confused because my laptop said 8:30 but my phone said 9:30 and previously both have always reset themselves so somewhere, something failed me. TECHNOLOGY! WHAT GOOD ARE YOU?!

So I walk in the kitchen and we actually have this conversation:

Me: So, what time is it?
Ben: What time does the clock say?
Me: Well, my phone says one thing and my laptop says another and MY BRAIN CAN’T FIGURE THIS OUT.
Ben: Seriously?
Me: DUH!
Ben: So, how do you think you could figure this out?
Me: I could google it but I’M ASKING YOU!
Ben: *pulls up the atomic clock on his phone*
Me: Well, my phone won’t do that, it’s FLASH.
Ben: iPhone fail.

Okay, here’s another thing. Recently, Ben decided to defect from Our Team WHICH IS APPLE and bought himself a Galaxy S2. And it’s a badass phone but there might be a little bit of Who’s Phone Has The Bigger Penis competition going on between the S2 an the 4S. CLEARLY, the 4S is #WINNING but in this case, I had to accept my defeat in the form on a petty insult at my lack of ability to use flash on my phone.

It was short lived though when his ANDROID phone failed to load the site properly. JUST WANTED TO PUT THAT OUT THERE IN THE WORLD.

Eventually I figured out that my phone’s time zone had somehow been set to Denver? I have no idea how that happened but sometimes when I get up at 4:30AM for work and I try to check my email, I unlock my phone later in the day and am like WHAT WAS I DOING!? It’ll be on some random webpage explaining why roosters crow or I’ve made a post on facebook as Kumo on accident.

I got confused again when at 8:30PM my body was all HAHAHAHA YOU ARE DONE FOR THE DAY GOODNIGHT!

And I passed out on the couch.

Then I got confused AGAIN when my bedroom clock was the wrong time because I had set it to match my iPhone before I realized that my iPhone HAD THE WRONG TIME.

Then I had a momentary moment of panic when I got in my car this morning and my clock read 6:10. HOLY FUCK I’M LATE HOW IS IT 6:00AM ALREADY FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU!!!

And then the guy from NPR was all “It’s 5:10, time for your first traffic check!” And I stopped peeing myself and was all AHAHAAHAHA I KNEW THAT!

It’s 2011, people. Not only do we not have flying cars or Rosie the Robot, but we still have to manually change our own clocks.

Future fail.

What day is it? Day 6! I made it past my guestimate! BAM! #WINNING!

So I really tried to do a Day In The Life today. SERIOUSLY! Then I realized at some point that it had been like 3 hours since my last photo and in that time I had gotten dressed, done laundry, gone to breakfast, shopped at Champion [1. new cold weather running gear for me marked 40% off already marked down outlet prices WHAT!?] and Pearl Izumi [2. New super reflective cycling jacket for Ben who has been taking more night rides] and was leaving the grocery store. It was a busy day!

I did take a few pictures though so I’ll post my day in a few photos. I think I might actually try the DItL again tomorrow. Possibly.

Waiting for breakfast. We have limited eating out to the weekends to try and save some money. This was the last meal till dinner time Friday that I won’t have to cook. I ate the shit out of breakfast… and then paid the price for HOURS after that because my tummy was like HAHAHAH EAT BAD FOOD, FEEL BAD! BITCH!

Kumo and Danica had friends over for a puppy play date. Their mom will be here to pick them up in a bit. Currently they are all passed out. PLAYING IS HARD WORK!

Dogs do not get the concept of daylight savings. Danica was like, “It was dinner time 15 minutes ago. WHERE’S MY NOMS!?”

I went for a run in my new gear. It was glorious.

Now I’m working on this. I’m kind of bummed because I had another scarf a little father along than this in the same colorway but I realized after I had completely knit the first skein that I didn’t have another skein from the same dye lot and none of the other skein’s stripes matched. GAH! So I frogged it and started again with a skein that has two more skeins in the same lot. I just wish the stripes in this dye lot were more noticible. I do still think it’s pretty cute. I think it’s going to be a Christmas gift for a special friend. 🙂

• I woke up this morning at 2:30AM and thought somebody had broken into the house to do dishes. Turns out it was just Ben cleaning up after making a Shakeology to help him recover from the 3 large Long Island Iced Teas last night. HA!
• I ate Frosted Flakes for breakfast. God, I forgot how good those things are. And also, HOLY SUGAR RUSH!
• I put away all the Halloween decorations today. I am sad. Also, is it to early to put up Christmas decorations and turn on the lights?
• I Redbox’d Fast Five. We saw it in the theatres and I really think it would be an okay movie if The Rock would die five minutes in.
• I can’t share a soda with Ben when we watch movies because I CAN NOT DRINK FROM A STRAW THAT TASTES LIKE POPCORN SALT OMG EWWWW!
• This is my first Diet Pepsi in over a week. It is so good. I assume that if there is a Heaven, they only serve Diet Pepsi. And only from a fountain, never a can. And I want to LIVE THERE.

Back with more tomorrow! Thinking about doing a Day In The Life post. I’ve started them like 500 times and never finished them so we’ll see!

Hope you all are having a fabulous weekend! Goodnight!

FRIDAY! Isn’t there some really annoying song about this day? I think so.

I kind of hate “here was my day” posts. Except Becca’s. I love her posts. I love her life. I feel like I’m sitting at an adorable little coffee shop and my friend is like GIRL, LET ME TELL YOU when I read her posts.

OH! And Lisa’s. Because she’s awesome and does awesome things and makes awesome jokes and it generally just… kind of awesome.

So anyway, I’m totally going to subject you to one now.

I got up at before dawn, (LIKE EVERY WEEK DAY YOU SO WISH YOU WERE ME RIGHT!?) and found the closest pair of jeans I could grab and put them on because it’s JEANS FRIDAY and I am very happy about that. I also grab a shirt out of the closet in the pitch black and hope it matches. It does. And it happens to be a shirt with a logo from work on it. SCORE.

I wake up suddenly about two hours later. I guess I slept during the hour drive into work. Probably because it was raining and rain makes me sleep.

Work.

Work.

Work some more.

Come home, there’s teenage drama. This kid, you guys. There is SO MUCH going on with this kid right now but I’ve mostly not talked about it online because I think she deserves the privacy but let me just say, TEENAGERS! GAH!

Melanie texted me and was all DOG PARK! LET’S DO THIS! And YAY! Ben is home early! So we meet Melanie at the dog park and her wife is out of town and she’s like WHERE ARE WE GOING TO DINNER!? I’M INVITING MYSELF TO DATE NIGHT!

And most people would be like WHAT!? Invite yourself!? But Ben and I are like YES! WE LOVE MELANIE! Her wife is out of town and she was so adorable and we love Melanie TO DEATH so we were thrilled to have her along.

Dinner: LAUGH, eat, LAUGH, talk, LAUGH. We have some really awesome friends. I feel lucky and thankful. Mel is telling us stories about her room mate and I’m seriously dying. And then Mel and Ben are making fun of me and Ben has that adorable somewhat tipsy grin and his eyes are doing that thing where they light up his ENTIRE face and I have one of those moments where I’m like I’M JUST SO HAPPY. THIS IS AWESOME. CAN IT LAST FOREVER!?

And now we are home and it’s cold, man! And it might rain tonight. I love nothing more than an open window at night with the sound of the rain outside and the faint smell of clean on the breeze. But it’s cold, man. So I’m going to coax Ben off the couch where he’s already fast asleep and up into bed and fall asleep to the sound of something awesome like a Hoarders rerun instead.

Goodnight, friends! Till tomorrow!

I don’t know if you know this but I’ve started running. Specifically, I’m on Week 3 of Couch to 5K. If you follow me on twitter and Facebook you know this because every time I do a run I’m like HEY EVERYBODY I RAN LOOK HERE IS HOW FAR AND HOW LONG AND HOW FAST AND I AM SO AWESOME YEAH!

Mostly it’s the endorphins posting.

Mostly.

It’s also partly that I just want the acknoledgement that I actually went out there and moved myself forward in a fast pace. Faster than my normal pace which is NO PACE.

There seems to be a lot of bloggers that have found a love of running and my most favorite by far is Miss Zoot. I LOVE her attitude. She’s REAL about how HARD it is to run. And I understand there are people out there that just have a body that RUNS. It just WORKS. I do not have one of those bodies. I get HORRIBLE shin splints if I don’t wear my neoprene wraps on my legs. If I don’t hydrated REALLY WELL and make sure I have a good amount of calories in me, I bonk hard on the last sprint or two.

I might be there one day. I’ll strap on my shoes, plug my headphones in, hit the trail and be zen. For now every step is a battle, every sprint is a war and at the end I feel like the motherfucking badass that stormed the castle, killed the giant lizard and wins the heart of the princess.

Mostly it’s the endorphins. They are totally awesome.

Also awesome? The tan lines…

In a more perfect world, these girls wouldn’t live 200 miles away from me.