Month: January 2015

Today I could hear a pretty steady thumping coming from upstairs so I ventured up to see what it was. I listened in as Cassidy was dancing in her bathroom to some music.

Me: Hey, whatcha doin’ in there?

She threw open the door and this happened:

Cassidy: I’M DANCING I HAVE TO PRACTICE FOR COLORGUARD OMG MOOOOOOOM. SERIOUSLY!

She threw that last word in there as she ran into her room and slammed the door closed. The high pitched squeeling continued as I fought her to get her door open. By this time I had made it into a joke.

Me: OMG CAAAAASSSIDY LET ME SEE YOUR AWESOME DANCE MOVES THAT YOU WERE PRACTICING.

Cassidy: MOM SERIOUSLY GO AWAY.

Me: I CAN’T GO AWAY I NEEEEEED TO SEE YOU DAAAAAAAANCE.

Cassidy: OMG I HATE YOU SERIOUSLY!

Me: So I guess you DON’T need to go to the grocery store today then?

At which point I was suddenly able to open her door and proceed to tease her to her face. Sometimes parenting a teenager is a lot of fun.

We are redoing the flooring throughout the bottom of the house. You all know that because you follow me on social media and you are probably all, “Shut up about the flooring already, SHEESH!” So instead we will discuss a funny related story.

We are going to need approximately 498,000 boxes of tiles to do the entire floor and I can get exactly 9 boxes at a time in the Prius before it starts to rub so it’s going to take a few trips to get as many as we need. Last Monday Cassidy and I went to Lowes to get the first 9 boxes and as we got out of the car I realized that my purse seemed really light and that I had forgotten my wallet! Because Blonde.

So we drive back home and I wait in the car while Cassidy runs in to grab my wallet out of my work bag. She was in there FOREVER and came out and held up her hands and shrugged because she couldn’t find what she was looking for. I told her I must have left my wallet at work and I couldn’t believe that because I NEVER do that and she was all, “OH WALLET! I was looking for the keys HAHAHAHAHAAHH!”

Proving that, in fact, two blondes do not make a right.

We decided not to go back to Lowes that day and instead took a nap.

The story of Leelah Alcorn hit me pretty hard this week. I saw the story on Facebook and spent a good hour on her tumblr viewing post after post of this poor child’s pain. I am not a perfect parent. I have made a lot of mistakes, every parent has, but I think that one thing that Ben and I have done right is teach our daughter that something as silly as her gender or who she chooses to love will never have an impact on how WE love her.

There are so many things I want to say about this but nothing seems strong enough.

Parents, love your children. Love them if they are male or female or transgender or straight or gay or bi or… Just love them. You only have them for a short time and that short time will build the foundation for the rest of their lives. Whether your child chooses to be a girl or a boy or who they choose to bring home for Christmas dinner really doesn’t have any effect on you. Your neighbor’s opinion of who your child dates should not matter. Your friend’s opinion of whether your child has a penis or a vagina and whether they choose to wear pants or a skirt should not matter. Your child’s chosen gender is not your decision at birth any more than it is when they are a teenager.

One of Cassidy’s best friends at school is a gay boy. He is such a nice kid. When I first read this story I thought about him. His quick wit, his overly intelligent sense of humor, the way he smiles kind of crooked when he laughs at one of Cassidy’s ridiculously cheesy jokes. It breaks my heart that this kid could possibly ever feel the way that Leelah felt.

I don’t understand how any parent could react the way Leelah’s parents did. I wish I could ask them. How is it that nobody stepped into this girl’s life and explained that this was temporary? That there is a whole life out there outside her parent’s house. There are entire communities that are fighting for her rights to be accepted. To be loved. To be herself. How did we let this child fall through the cracks? How did we let it get to the point that she felt death was the better alternative?

Just love your kids. Accept them. That is all.