I’m totes alive ya’ll. I could go into a big spiel about the LEEP procedure and the recovery but then I’d lose readers because they’d be throwing up on their keyboards and do you really want to have to read about how they had to burn the skin off 80% of my cervix? You probably don’t. Except I will guarantee you that you have never smelled a “bad smell” until you have had to breath in the acrid stench of your own burning vagina for half an hour. I’d rather insert my nose directly into the sent sack of an angry skunk than ever have to smell that smell again.

From now on when you smell a skunk remind yourself it’s not nearly as bad as a smoking cervix. You’re welcome.

But GOOD NEWS! I don’t have cancer. I had beginning stages but it’s GONE and fuck cancer. Paps every 4-6 months till I have at least two clean swabs then NEVER more than a year between them for life. My vagina and I sincerely thank you for all the support and love and well wishes through what was a pretty stressful time. I kind of lost my mind for a few weeks there and it wasn’t at all pretty. A lot of you kept me sane without even realizing that you were doing it.

4 thoughts on “OH HAI ‘MEMBER ME!?

  1. Ugh. I can only imagine what you held back from your readers. My legs are closed tight right now.
    It sounds like a horrible procedure but I’m glad everything is okay, though. <3

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