Year: 2007

1) I have some more pownce invites if anybody wants one. Just comment with a valid email address (won’t be shown) or email me one.

2) Cassidy didn’t have pink eye. If her biological sperm donor had ACTUALLY taken her to a doctor like he told me he had (he didn’t), he’d have know that it was, in fact, viral conjunctivitis and the medicine he gave her (which his doctor gave to him to treat his eye God only knows how long ago for a scratch he got when he got SAND in his eye) didn’t help, it just masked the symptoms and now it’s not only in her EYES, but also spread to her EARS.

I was so pissed off about it when we left the doctor yesterday I had trouble focusing enough to just drive home. Then on my way into work I realized that, why am I so surprised by this? I should have assumed he was clueless and taken her to the doctor Sunday when he dropped her off. Especially given his track record and the time he had me freaked out because he said she had a yeast infection and how could I let her walk around like that scratching and WHAT WAS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE that caused her to get it?! So as soon as we picked her up we drove her to the doctor and:

Doctor: Hello. Here’s your Overbearing Freaked Out Parent Awardâ„¢. She has a bug bite by her vagina, fools. Next time LOOK down there before you come in.
Me: Her father told us it was a yeast infection, I put her in the car and drove her here. I didn’t have time to look.
Doctor: He was wrong. It’s a bug bite. Sorry you just wasted 1.5 hours in a room full of sick people for nothing.
Me: Can I please get that in writing so I can mail it to him with a pipe bomb?
Doctor: SURE!

Lesson learned: Assume nothing. Expect to have to clear things up on my own. Every time.

I’m not that bent anymore. In the end, it’s treatable, it only cost me $24 to diagnose and treat, and she’s home with me and far, far away from him and since he probably won’t bother to call her till sometime around Thanksgiving, meh.

3) Her arms are “very, very, very, very, very, very” sore. We are trying out gymnastics classes at different gyms and yesterday was her first ‘tryout’ and not only did she do about 30 hand stands, she climbed about half way up a 20 foot tall rope. This morning:

Cassidy: Mommy?
Me: Yes?
Cassidy: When I move my arms up and down, they hurt.
Me: You are sore from gymnastics yesterday.
Cassidy: It sucks.
Me: Yep, but the next time you go the pain will be less and then less the time after that and it will just get better. And! You’ll be able to flex and have UberMuscles so don’t get discouraged okay?
Cassidy: I’m still going! It hurts but I still REALLY want to do gymnastics.

The class yesterday was more “fun” than structure, which is what Ben and I want for her. Something that focuses on discipline, form and is pretty structured. So! I need to call a few more places and hopefully we’ll find a winner soon.

4) This turned out to be a little longer than I had planned and I should really get back to doing actual work.

YAY!

Only, not really.

Saturday Ben asked if I wanted to go look at some new stereo stuffs for my car. My M3 still has the stock head unit in it but I took the six disc changer out awhile ago because it wasn’t working for some reason which, whatever, I used the Ipod with tape adapter all the time anyway.

He warned me in advance, ‘We are just looking today. Pricing. Okay?’ as if I’m some impatient impulse buyer that doesn’t have any control. And I am. That is me in the relationship.

Ben: Do you really need more makeup?
Me: But I didn’t have this color!
Ben: Purple?
Me: It’s not PURPLE, it’s TRAX. That is other one is Violet. Plus it’s pigment, not eyeshadow.
Ben: You wear it on your eye.
Me: I JUST NEED IT, I HAVE TO BUY IT, IT’S A NEW COLOR AND SO PRETTY AND I JUST HAVE TO.

Or something.

Anyway, Ben drove my car a few weeks ago and when he put the tape in it made a sound like 500 gears being forced in the wrong direction. And that’s all it’s done since then. It. Has. Been. Rough. Mornings aren’t so bad because I listen to NPR and traffic updates but the afternoons, or anytime Cassidy is in the car, it kills me. Do you know how many times you have to search the entire FM band to find ONE good song? Well, in a three hour drive from here to Bakersfield, I managed to find ONE song. Seriously. One. Not that I even listen to good songs all the time. I mean, I have an 8 year old girl and there’s a lot of Fergie and Gewn Stefani goin’ on. Which I guess isn’t THAT bad. It could be worse. Like the Hanna Montana crap she’s suddenly OMG SO IN LOVE WITH BECAUSE SHE’S SO KEWL!

Ben: I’m thinking a nice head unit, an amp and some front speakers and you’ll be set.
Me: Whatever. As long as I can listen to my Ipod, I’m fine.

We ended up getting an Alpine iDA-X001 head unit built in collaboration with Apple for use with the Ipod. It even shows album art. TeeHee. Small pleasures. We also got some bad ass six inch Alumapro speakers for the front which will require some modification of the kick panel but these speakers almost caused me to have a spontaneous orgasm right there in the sound booth so I’M OKAY WITH THAT. Then Ben made the mistake of asking to listen to them WITH an Alumapro subwoofer and ‘almost’ turned into ‘real’ and we got it too and two Alpine amps to power them all. And they are really cute amps. That was one of them. I’m not sure which speakers that powers. I didn’t even know there were TWO until Ben just told me after laughing at me for not knowing. And blue cabling for all of it. And a capacitor, also Alumapro.

I drop the car off Friday night and can hopefully pick it up Saturday evening. *giddy*

The other big news?! Cassidy is home. Love. I was REALLY missing her the last week or so. That’s partly the reason I hadn’t blogged most of last week. All the posts turned into whiny sob stories of WHAAAA I miss my little 8 year old mouthy BFF/daughter/MiniMe! That lasted a whole 24 hours. Because she came home with pink eye (which they took her to the doctor and ‘treated’ her for so how the fuck does that happen?) and an over sized, incredibly skanky, Bratz Doll she named Cynthia. Cassidy even called her a Hoochie Momma. Thanks for teacheing her that term and letting her think it’s okay to use it in public conversation, ass fuckers.

Anyway, it’s good to have my sidekick home. And I better get to bed because I need to get up, get her to the doctor, then to work before 11:30 when we have a going away lunch for a co-worker.

Night, All!

It’s been far too long since I’ve done a meme. I never do the actual Friday Five on the week it comes out it seems, I look through them and pick one that I feel like answering.

In this one, I firmly secure my geek title. You know, in case you all forgot.

1. What is your favorite board game?
For a big group (SEE: drunk people) I like Taboo. It can be really funny what people will blurt out while drunk. TeeHee My family used to play this game a lot (only, not drunk) and we used to laugh so hard I’d be sore the next day.

For the three of us, Monopoly. Although, Cassidy pretty much kicks my ass at every board game we play (excpet Operation :D) so I stopped playing games with her after she completely ANNIALATED me at the Game of Life. Three times.

I’m a sore loser. Especially when it’s to a (then) 7 year old.

2. What is your favorite card game?
Uno. HA! I’m so lame. After that Jin then Poker.

3. Do you like to play games on the computer or on a gaming system?
PC > Console

*ducks*

4. If so, what is your favorite game to play?
I supposed I should say World of Warcraft since I’ve been pretty much filling every second of free time with it for the last two weeks (Cassidy has been out of town, I’m bored!)… BUT! I’m a big Old School FPS geek. I love me some UnrealTouornament, Quake, Splinter Cell, Tribes, etc.

5. Do you like to play games with people or to play them alone?
I like both but I hate having to depend on random people to play. That’s a big problem when trying to play something like Tribes where you HAVE to team up. I don’t so much mind in Counter Strike becuase you usually LAN or end up teaming up with people you know which isn’t so bad. We used to LAN Counter Strike in the same house but teams would be in seperate rooms so you couldn’t hear stratagy talk. God, I was a geek.

In games like WOW, I just wait for Ben to outlevel me by enough that if I need help, he can come in and wipe out all the baddies while I run around and collect money and loot. It MAY seem like I’m using him but this is a guy I used to follow around in City of Heroes JUST to heal. Not many people have their own personal healer. So I think it balances out somehow. 🙂

Because I’m a responsible blogger and Surge is a DREAM KILLER, I thought that I should add that I’m doing my part to kill the planet, one cold, refreshing fix at a time. According to TreeHugger.com *tries not to snicker*, every 1 kilogram of Fiji water consumes 26.88 kilograms of water (7.1 gallons) .849 Kilograms of fossil fuel (one litre or .26 gal) and emitted 562 grams of Greenhouse Gases (1.2 pounds) to produce. Now my habit feels even more dirty than before. Only not as bad as say, if I smoked…

Some time ago I rather harshly judged somebody because they wouldn’t drink any water but Figi. I still think its pretty lame to go overboard with it which is what this person did.

Them: Oh no, I don’t want that perfectly good Arrowhead water you are offering be because I’m thirsty and there’s nothing around to drink, because I ONLY drink Fiji water.
Me: Good! Becuase I’d much rather spit on your hot, dry corpse then GIVE you a single drop of my water!

For the last few weeks I’ve been living a secret double life. I’ve gone through probably 20 bottles of Fiji water. I CAN’T HELP IT! IT’S A PROBLEM, I KNOW I NEED HELP! I’M SO ASHAMED!!!

But it’s so soft and flavorless and when its ice cold it’s like pouring liquid extacy (Not that I’ve ever done E, because I HAVEN’T. HI DAD!) down your throat. The way the supersoft water rolls across your tongue and down your throat with no aftertaste and… *starts shaking*

*grabs bottle, injects into vein*

Okay, I have a problem. BUT! I can say, that if I was thirsty and somebody offered me a bottle of Arrowhead, I’d not turn it down like some pigish, asswipe who’s SO MUCH BETTER than your crap infested, NAME BRAND water.

The other day Ben, who admits the Supreme Fabulousness of the water and has been knows to bring bottles to bed with him, was giving me a hard time about it. “what makes it so special?”, he asked. So I explained:

Me: It’s filtered through mountains and silica so that’s why it’s so soft. Mountians that are untouched by pollutants from factories or humans and think about it, even the rain clouds have no pollution in them and so the water even STARTS OUT pure and…
Ben: What about dead animals?
Me: What?!
Ben: Well, there has to be dead animals on the mountain…
Me: I hate you! Why would you say that!?

Ben always has to ruin EVERYTHING for me!! But! According to my Fiji bottle yesterday the water is protected by an Impermeable Rock that protects the water. IMPERMEABLE! Click that link. They explain that the water isn’t ever even touched by AIR, let alone ROTTING ANIMAL.

By definition, artesian water comes from a source deep within the earth, protected by layers of clay and rock. There is no opening, not even a porthole to the surface. As a result, the water never comes into contact with the air, protecting it from environmental pollutants and other contamination.

IMPERMEABLE! I think that rotting animal corpses would fall under the “other contamination” umbrella. Not that it really matters anyway. I’m stupid brave enough to drink California tap water so drinking water filtered through rotting animal corpses would probably be a step up.

Ben had a CT Scan of his head done yesterday to find the cause of the never ending headache. The results came back today and it looks like there is a fluid filled cyst at the base of his skull. The doctor said it may be an Arachnoid Cyst. In his head. By his brain. It’s not actually on or in the brain, thankfully. SO. THANKFULLY.

The last 24 hours I’ve bounced back and fourth between ‘Please don’t let there be anything in his head. Please. Please. Please’. To ‘Please let there be something SMALL and SIMPLE to treat so that he gets some relief from this pain he’s been in for FOUR DAYS.’

We don’t really know any more than that. The next step will be to get an MRI to get a better view of whatever is going on in there. The downside is I can’t help but be worried about something like this even though wikipedia makes to seem not so bad. The up side is I got to crack a joke about him setting off metal detectors because how cool would it be to have a piece of Bionic Steel in his head?!

I know that seems harsh and mean considering. But he’s already using it as an excuse for things…

06-30-2007: This conversation has been corrected after Ben reminded me how it “really went” at breakfast with a friend this morning. And really, my version made him seem less crazy, but we can go with his version instead!! 😉

Ben: *knocks fork off counter*
Me: Dude. I was going to use that!
Ben: The auditory hallucinations told me to do it.
Me: Wikipedia said “Musical hallucination”.
Ben: The voices were singing.
Me: Oh. My. God.
Ben: *grin*

So it’s the very least I should be allowed to do.

Tuesday I was craving Italian food. Badly. Ben was pleased because its not a normal craving and NO JULIE I AN NOT PREGNANT! 😉 Soon after we pulled away from the house:

Me: Remind me when we get back and I’ll put the garbage cans on the street.
Ben: Uhhh, they are on the street.
Me: Oh? They are?
Ben: Oh honey, I love your hair it’s so beautiful…
Me: Fuck you!
Ben: *bwahahha* You should blog that.
Me: Why would I blog that?! I only blog things that make OTHER people look stupid, not me.
Ben: Okay, then I’ll blog it.
Me: FINE! You have admin access and your own account, blog it yourself!
Ben: I’ll put in on NorCal.
Me: NorCal is NOT your blog.
Ben: It practically is!
Me: Besides, what are they going to say? They all KNOW me. They know I’m blond.
…
Me: I think I should post the post-conversation after the funny stuff because that was funnier.
Ben: *blink* *blink* I have no idea what the fuck you just said!!
Me: SEE! Funnier!
Ben: Blog it.
Me: I’m not blogging it!!

After dinner. Shortly before pulling up to the house:

Me: I don’t see the kid with the lemonade stand. Actually, I didn’t see him when we were leaving either. I think you’re seeing things, losing it.
Ben: Honey, remember to put the garbage cans out when we get back.
Me: FUCK YOU!

And that, my friends, is why I love the man.

I grew tomatoes!!! TADA!

I know, I know. Big deal right? Well, YES! It is a big deal! Because I’ve been trying to grow them for THREE SEASONS and this is the first time I’ve had a plant ACTUALLY produce a tomato.

In the past everybody told me to use Miracle Grow but I kinda feel like that’s cheating. I mean, do they genetically alter these fuckers to ONLY produce fruit if you chemically force them to? Maybe it’s some conspiracy that Miracle Grow has going on to up sales. But I dunno, I can see using it on flowering plants to balloon the bloom size to unnatural proportions but not something I’m going to eventually let Cassidy eat. I don’t need whatever chemical it is that causes the monster blooms to get into her system and somehow make her feet grow any bigger than they already are because they are already pushing the ‘unnatural’ envelope as it is.

I got some great news about a friend yesterday. And even though it wasn’t MY news I was so excited for them because I remember what it felt like to be in the spot they are in now and how wonderful it can feel and hearing THEIR good news actually put ME in a great mood! Funny how that can happen. Anyway, you know who you are and, YAY! Happy for your great news! 🙂

Ben was supposed to go to the track this weekend but money (it would be over $500 MORE then the $300+ he’s already spent on it AND he was at the track last week anyway which was probably another $500) and his head has started being a bastard again. He gets these headaches that come on randomly and literally floor him. He instantly gets hot (I’m sure his temperature goes up because he actually feels hot to the touch), feels nauseated, lays down and tries to sleep it off. He lays there and moans. That kills me. Two weeks ago when he was helping me with my exhaust he practically drove a screwdriver THROUGH his hand, washed it off and kept working like it was no big deal. So when he’s in so much pain that he’s on the couch groaning, I get worried. Really worried.

They have given him migraine medicine and so far it’s basically done: NOTHING. They are still coming and the medicine doesn’t seem to help AT ALL to get rid of them, or even help with the symptoms. Then for the entire following day he has what he describes as a ‘headache hangover’. Anybody else have these? Idea’s what it might be? I’m wondering if maybe some more drastic testing should be done…

Anyway, that was my Full of Randomness post for the week!

So Akismet has determined that I’m a spam bot. I’ve already had to contact TWO bloggers to ask them to mark me as ‘Not Spam’. I was in the spam folder. I feel so dirty. 🙁 My beautiful witty comments lumped in with all the penis enlargement and barely legal ads. *shudder* It happened a third time on a site that I don’t frequent much and didn’t feel like contacting ANOTHER blogger about it so I submitted a help request to Akismet to please unlabeled me as trash, thanks! So if you have the most recent version of Akismet (since I tested it on Ben’s blog and the comment went through fine I’m assuming it’s only newer version) and I don’t comment for a few days, you know why.

Bother.

Cassidy is doing well. Although I made the mistake of telling her that I got her a Gwen poster at the beginning of the conversation and it went downhill for me after that because:

Cassidy: CARRIELEE!! My mom got me a Gwen Stefani poster!! Isn’t that cool. Mom, is it like Carrielee’s?
Me: No, they didn’t have…
Cassidy: (to Carrielee) It’s not like your’s though! Where should I hang it? I think on my..

HI! HELLO! Remember ME! She does, but I just don’t compete. I’m not even in the same REALM as Carrielee. Which on one hand, the selfish one, I HATE! But on the other, much bigger more reasonable hand, I think is the coolest thing ever. Because at least if I’m losing her to a BFF and I’m no longer considered the coolest person she knows, it’s Carrielee. Carrielee Marie, who was given her middle name after me and who I love so much it causes my heart to swell and explode into little piles of love goop.

You know what’s classy? Taking your New Girlfriend (decked out in mini skirt, belly top and fishnets) to the child support devision for an appointment you know that your Baby Mama is going to be at. When Dad and Baby Mama got up to go talk to the case worker and New Girlfriend started to walk back too, Baby Mom turned around and said, “You better SIT. YOUR. ASS. down.” If I’d had some popcorn and a 42oz. soda, I’d have been set.

I’d go into why I was there but not yet. Let’s just say that after letting $24,000 go unpaid just because I didn’t feel like fighting it went out the window the day I was called up and called a cunt because I didn’t feel like letting him get away with what I had in the past. And on the day we buried his uncle, no less. BIG. MISTAKE.

Cassidy is in Bakersfield with Carrielee and Amber for two weeks. I was literally getting in the car to leave and Cassidy and Carrielee were clinging to eachother with tears welling up and:

Amber: OMG! Just leave her here, we’ll bringher back in two weeks.
Cassidy: PLEASE MOM!! PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE?

At the same time as…

Carrielee: YEAH PLEASE?! PLEASE?! CAN SHE? CAN SHE PLEASE?! PLEASE ANNA?!
Me: OKAY! GOOD LORD, PEOPLE!

So she’s there with her BFF and her grandma and probably getting spoiled rotten and having a blast. Which gives me two weeks to do the Annual Room Cleaning Extravaganzaâ„¢. But not tonight! Tonight I need to go to bed for because I have to be rested for Gwen Stefani concert tomorrow! YAY! Girls night!

Last night I ate pasta. I couldn’t help it. It came on the plate with the chicken I wanted and it might have accidentally wrapped it’s way around my fork and found a way into my mouth. Like, eight times. Or possibly eleven.

I started having to scratch my leg before we got out of the restaurant and by the time we got in the car my stomach started to bloat and my head was pounding and I couldn’t get my temperature to regulate and I knew that for the rest of the night the wheat would ravage through my body like a herd of pissed off elephants trying to find a way out.

Me: I’m going to spend the entire night crapping.
Mom: ANNA!
Me: What!?
Mom: I’m trying to set a GOOD example for Chrissy!

Break to insert: my niece had been having some disciplinary issues and has been sent to my moms house (another state, away from her friends and the brunt of the problem) to live for the rest of the school year, about two months. My mom offered to do this because my brother has a lot going on that I’ll have to post about later but she’s 15 and all girl and ALL ATTITUDE.

Me: Mom, everybody poops! Haven’t you read the book?
Mom: But they don’t use that word! They say “poop” or “diarrhea” or something else.
Me: Crap was a MUCH better word than what I was originally going to say!
Mom: *vein starts throbbing in forehead* Anna…
Me: It is!
Mom: What kind of example does that set? What are you going to say when Cassidy starts saying that?
Me: She won’t say it. She knows she’s not allowed to use that word.
Mom: Monkey see, monkey do…
Me: Monkey get her butt whooped.

Meanwhile… Chrissy, Cameron and Cassidy are in the back of the car about to keel over from laughter.

My mom totally loves me.

Right after this we told stories of some of our best farts and how we’d used them against each other. One time I almost caused my little brother to get PHYSICALLY ill because I let out an SBD in the BMW and he couldn’t find the window button. German engineers are crazy guys and put them on the center console instead of the doors. Cameron almost OMGDIED and I was laughing so hard I almost had to pull over the car.

My mom just drove, white knuckled, trying as hard as she could to pretend that we were talking about kittens and butterflies.

As we took the elevator up from the parking garage:

Mom: I swear I don’t know how you people turned out this way. THESE are NOT my genes!
Me: You’re right. Three different fathers, but total coincidence. NONE of it is you. At all. Nope.
Cameron: Oh man, something big just hit my lower colon.

Cameron graduated from high school yesterday. It warms my heart to see the mature, intelligent, talented man he’s grown into.

This post was brought to you by the letter T as in ‘Trashy’. And the number 18, the number of years it took him to grow into one of my most favorite people EVER.