I mentioned yesterday that today was a Stop Cyberbullying Day and I have quite a bit more to say about this now that I’ve had some time to formulate in my head what I want and need to get out. But first a bit of background as to why this event came about.
I also mentioned Kathy Sierra yesterday. I had only read her blog a few times when I’d been linked there and she seemed like a swell gal with some great ideas and posts pertaining to community/userbase building in the blogesphere. Most recently I had read her Devil’s Advocate post about Twitter. (Because I love all things Twitter. I’d even use the word ‘addiction’ but more on that later.) When I was linked to her site last week from a post that Cincyli wrote I was flabbergasted. When did it suddenly become okay to post such horrible things about people online? To photoshop pictures of them with a noose, or gagged with women’s panties?! I agree with her reaction, wholeheartedly. It’s disgusting and sick and so beyond what is thought of as “okay” by anybody that has any amount of decency.
I think the problem with the Internet is anonymity. When you can throw rocks at somebody while nameless and faceless you feel much more powerful. And to me, at least in my own case of cyberbullying, that’s the goal. To feel like you have some kind of power over people. I haven’t addressed my cyberbully on my blog at all. To me, to publicly address him, is to give him the power he desires. I have the power and this is my way of dealing with it.
This doesn’t mean that I’m not very thankful and sympathetic to what Kathy is going through and I applaud her for dealing with it in the best way she see’s fit and for drawing some much needed attention to the matter. My bully hasn’t ever made an actual threat against me but believe me, if it ever came to that I’d be in contact with lawyers and police with a quickness.
The big thing that I have seen and been disturbed by is the willingness of other people to ‘look the other way’ when they see it happening. They continue to allow these offenders to comment and participate in a community even though they see cyberbullying going on. They have the attitude that if it’s not happening to them, they don’t care. This is where the blog community has faltered. If EVERYBODY stood up and said ‘What you are doing is not okay, and you are not welcome’, I think this problem would be greatly reduced. The bullies would lose that power they are trying so hard to maintain.
P.S. – Also, check out Kami Watson Huyse’s blog. She has a great post today about the effect that cyberbullying has on kids and teens beyond the blogging realm. I’m scared to think about the world that my own daughter is going to grow up in with the Internet making it so easy to anonymously attack your peers.
I think the best way to deal with this type of problem is to ignore it. Sometimes it’s what the bully wants, to stir up drama amongst other people. So the ones that are sitting back watching it happen may not want the issue to escalate. If the bullying is done somewhere where they can just be blocked, then they should be.
Ok first of all I went to her site, read her post with the little panties over the face screaming entry and just about puked. It’s just not freaking ok. Someone said in a comment that she needed thicker skin and I replied that it had passed thicker skin by far.
Secondly you saw the whole even if it isn’t happening to you say it’s not ok thing work. All it took was me saying I was sick of it, but what makes me mad is that these people have 100000000000 other places to move onto and do the same thing.
You said you were sick of it yet you continue to let him post on your site and be a friendly and joking and HA HA when you know what he’s doing. To me, that’s weak.
Someday when somebody attacks Sydney the way MY innocent daughter has been attacked then maybe you’ll understand why it’s not okay to what you are doing. Or aren’t doing, however you choose to see it. Being friendly to a guy that stores pictures of little kids on his computer, to USE THEM AS AMMUNITION agaisnt people make you just as sick as he is.
Giving the things that you’ve said about him in private emails, the only conclusion that I can come to is that you enjoy having him around, because if you really meant the things you said, you’d have booted him a long time ago. Or you are scared of him and you’ve given him the power. Either way, WEAK.
nice site
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Anna actually Sydney has been attacked in ways that you will never even comprehend so that’s really not going to fly with me. I put Sydney on the net and I know that her pic may be up there on his forum some day if I disagree with him. He knows that I know that because I just told him that. I also told him that I don’t think it’s cool that he has friends of your daughters on there that he has had no dealings with the parents at all. It just reaffirmed in my mind that I should be more careful what I put on the net of anyone else’s life at all.
I don’t agree with his forum for the most part. I mean I’ve taken part in talking about Krystal etc. on there sure. There’s a difference between that and putting people down for their looks or their children. I’d think it was completely sick and demented if I didn’t see the reaction he’s getting and know that it’s the exact reaction he wants.
I don’t get into racial jokes and I’ve made it perfectly clear that I’m not going to let him post whatever he wants on my site period anymore like he has. I’ve made that clear to the world nobody is posting anything negative just to be flat out shitty to another person.
I hate censorship and all but I had to go to that level even when I didn’t want to, because it was out of control. I don’t think the world gets this issue.
So, you don’t agree with all this stuff he does and think it’s wrong and you STILL allow him to visit and laugh it up with him.
W. E. A. K.
I won’t allow it HERE. If you want to be one of his minion’s do it on YOUR site. As far and I’m concerned, it’s over with here on mine.