I didn’t get ANYTHNG done this weekend. ANY. THING.
Friday I got home from work and was going to jump on the computer to check some email, transfer some PayPal money and get some shopping done for Sandra’s birthday party. WAS going to but didn’t because Comast decided to ass rape us and upped our monthly charges from $108 to $160. And it’s not that we can’t afford $160 for cable but GOOD LORD a $50 increase! You can’t increase your rates by 50% and not expect people to get pissy with you!
Usually Ben calls them and threatens to discontinue service and they offer him some kind of “deal” and we end up staying. He’s been doing this for two years and I think they have him flagged in the system and his deal quota has officially been reached so he canceled with a two week buffer. So we had two weeks to find other service and neither one of us did. Oops. I come home Friday and BAM! No service.
So I called and got us reset up through Comcast as a “new customer” and they promised to be there Sunday. I thought I had gotten a good deal except I forgot to get a second box for usptairs so had to call them back. Then I forgot to get the DVR box and HBO. So… I have to call today and see how I’m going to talk them down in cost but get more. Wish me luck. heh
Later that evening:
Ben: Ya know, Honey, sometimes it’s good for us to “disconnect” and this is really the only way that we are going to do that.
Me: I didn’t need to disconnect.
Ben: We BOTH needed time some time to disconnect.
Me: Ben, I am NOT addicted to the internet. Sometimes we NEED the internet. Like, right now with Sandra’s birthday I have people Paypalling me for the gift and planning her party via the forum, it’s nice to be able to have quick access to all that.
Ben: *gives me ‘The Look’*
Me: I’m NOT ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET! I’m not the one that played WOW every night last week.
Ben: Because you were working on your site.
Me: *try ‘The Look’ and fail miserably*
Ben: Just because you don’t accept it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Me: I ACCEPT IT! I just refuse to ACKNOWLEDGE it.
Ben: You can’t ACCEPT something without ACKNOWLEDGE it, Anna!
Me: Yes I can!
Ben: It’s conversations like this one that reaffirm to me the fact that YOU ARE CRAZY.
Me: So! You gave ME the ring, buddy!
Me: *grab phone, run upstairs, lock bathroom door, browse MSNBC, blogs, forums and chat on AIM via the cell*
Then Cassidy started complaining of an upset stomach. She has been complaining about it for about two days but it’s not so bad that she’s not eating, and no fever and what else is there for me to do? Then she told me that her butt hurt.
Me: Your BUTT?
Me: Like where in your butt?
Cassidy: My BUTT, Mom.
Cassidy: *points to butt*
Me: So, like IN your butt or your buttHOLE?
Me: *realise right away that was probably not the best term to use*
Cassidy: What’s a BUTTHOLE?!
Me: You know how we talked about poop and it being like trash and your body has to get rid of it? Well, that’s where it comes out.
Cassidy: The hole?
Me: Yes. Where did you think it came from?
Cassidy: I don’t know, I can’t SEE my butt, I just go poop, I don’t think about it!
Me: Well, now you know.
Cassidy: A hole.
Cassidy: *sits quietly a little too long pondering The Hole*
Me: So I need to know where it hurts…
This conversation leads me to quickly realize that she’s constipated and through more questioning I find out it’s been THREE DAYS since she’s used her Hole. THREE DAYS! I guess that might be normal to some but my kid goes 3-4 times a day so I could only imagine what it must feel like to have all that pressure built up in there. Then I realize that it’s not that she CAN’T go, it’s that she WON’T go because it hurts. I start forcing stupid amounts of fluid into her and tell her if she doesn’t go by morning, we are going to the doctor or fixing the problem. She ended up going to bed REALLY EARLY for a Friday. Like, before her normal week day bedtime of 8:30 and usually on Friday’s I have to force her into bed sometime around 10:30-11:00.
Ben and I spent the rest of the evening watching the last episodes of Lost: Season One on DVD. (Really, Ben watched them while I laid in the couch and snored.) *hugs Netflix* I’m really into this show now. I like the total unpredictability of the story line and am a little disappointed by the Season one finale. Life/death cliche, I get it. One life is lost (Boon’s which makes me sad because I think that had they developed his character better early on he could have progressed past Lock’s sidekick into somebody more powerful) and the baby is born. Finally. I’m sure that the week leading up to the finally was “LOST: Somebody DIES! Don’t miss a second!!!!!1!!1exclamationpoint!!1!” Then everybody was let down when they guessed Boon correctly because the week before he’d fallen down a 100 foot cliff in a plane.
Saturday we woke up and Cassidy had still had not used The Hole so we made a trip to Wallgreens and talked to the pharmacist who’s initial suggestion was ‘eat more vegetables’. Ooookay. And in the meantime she’s in excruciating pain and hasn’t crapped in three days and could you maybe suggest something that will work RIGHT NOW. We ended up leaving with Prune juice and Suppositories.
All I need to say about the actual suppository experience is that Cassidy was REALLY BRAVE, didn’t complain at all, and 10 minutes after it went in it, and three days worth of backed up ‘trash’, came out. 30 minutes later we were at Diddums shopping and getting ready for Sandra’s birthday and all was well in the world. So any parent that’s scared to try them, Don’t BE! If I had known it was going to be that painless and uneventful, I’d probably have done it the night before.
Which leads me into… my mom finally called me for the first time in TWO WEEKS about 10 minutes after Cassidy was free of the trash. We usually don’t go more than a few days without talking but she left for a cruise and apparently her cell phone went on vacation too. THANK GOD she picked it up the day after she left when I went to get her cat to take it to the Pet Hotel and she didn’t tell me she’d SET THE ALARM or THE NEW ALARM CODE and I was met by two police officers outside her door, after I managed to wrangle the cat into the carrier, who weren’t too pleased that I had NO ID on me because the front desk took it from me when I got the key from them. I’m still kinda bitter about that. BUT! Then she didn’t CALL or pick up her phone for TWO WEEKS. And I had two thoughts: 1) She met a hot guy and she was too ‘busy’ to pick up (good for her but disgusting to think about *shudder*) or 2) SHE WAS TOTALLY DEAD. There was no in between because crazy people don’t think in in between’s. It’s either one extreme or the other. I haven’t heard which one it is yet though because:
Mom: Hi! We’re half way home. Layover. I can hardly hear you.
Me: *yelling* CAN YOU HEAR THIS!
Mom: Oh. Yeah, maybe it was my phone, let me adjust the volume.
Mom: Okay, say something I think I fixed it.
Mom: Okay! Hi! How are you all?! We’re almost home.
Me: Well, where should I start. Oh! There was the week that Cassidy laid on the couch and didn’t move because she had PNEUMONIA.
Mom: She had pneumonia? Is she okay now?
Me: Yes! She got pneumonia right after I picked up Frisker and the alarm went off for 5 minutes and the police showed up and scared me, but she’s fine now.
Mom: Oh… Um, good.
Me: THEN! Today I had to stick a suppository up her BUTTHOLE because she hadn’t pooped in THREE DAYS.
Mom: Yeah, that was probably the antibiotics.
Me: REALLY? REALLY!! Maybe I should have kept her better hydrated when she had PNEUMONIA and I didn’t know that antibiotics would do that because YOU HAVEN’T ANSWERED YOUR PHONE IN TWO WEEKS AND I’VE ONLY CALLED IT ABOUT 87 TIMES NOT THAT I WAS COUNTING.
Mom: Why don’t I call you when I get home…
I hung up and instantly felt guilty. But my mom is, well, My Person as Dr Yang would put it. She has a degree’s in medicine and law which means that she’s knows EVERYTHING. PLUS! She’s my mom. And I did FINE while she was gone. I nursed Cassidy past pneumonia and I fixed The Hole but nobody was there to hold my hand the way she does and I REALLY REALLY MISSED HER. A lot a lot. When I talked to her Sunday though, I was really nice and listened to her explain how sick SHE’S been the whole trip and the places they went and I didn’t say a single thing about myself other than that I was too hung over and on the brink of vomiting to come over and collect trinkets from Barbados.
Which brings me to Saturday night. You might want to get up and stretch your legs at this point, I’ll wait for you to get back…
Okay. So Saturday night we FINALLY got to have Sandra’s birthday party. Her birthday was actually two weeks ago but she’s a busy girl!! Sylwia and I REALLY wanted to do something for her because she ALWAYS thinks about us and makes our birthday’s fun and special. And just because she rocks. So we planned a pre-party at our place with appetizers and drinks, then bowling, then back to our place for more fun if anybody wanted to. The appetizers were AWESOME. Sylwia made some of her family favorites and OMG… there were these little fried cheesy doughy things that were crunchy on the outside but soft and full of goodness on the inside and I think we finished the entire plate off in 25 seconds. She also made shrimp seviche… *drool*
I made Sandra a cake in the shape of a MAC eyeshadow pot. It was a lot of fun to make (five hours of fun) and I was SO HAPPY with how it turned out, especially since it’s the first cake I’ve ever made like this. It was two layers. French Vanilla on top (dyed pink) and double chocolate on the bottom. It was completely covered with pink buttercream and I made fondant to create the outter shell of the pot. Then added pigment (edible of course) to the pink for the shadow itself and wrote M.A.C across it. She loved it her reaction was exactly what I’d hoped for. 🙂 It was awesome! Pictures once I finish rebuilding my computer (Hopefully I don’t forget to write about that later. heh).
I had a few Divatini’s, a drink Sylwia made up for Sandra (our fabulous Diva) which was Champagne and Chambord (ONE OF MY FAVORITES!!!), then had one shot of Contreau who Ben is now an official spokesperson for. So when I got to the bowling alley I was the tiniest bit tipsy. After one game though ffej and Melissa offered to take the kids home for the night with them and I was like, “OKAY! Please take her and let her play herself out at your house and sleep in so I can too! I’ll be over bright and early to get her!” Then I kissed her and told her to be good and kicked her out of the alley. TeeHee I kid, I kid. I let her kiss Ben before I kicked her out.
After she left I shouted, “SHOTS FOR THE GIRLS” and ordered the waitress to bring us shots of whatever top shelf Tequila they had. It was HORRIBLE. I was expecting Patron or Grey Goose at least but it tasted more like rubbing alcohol. Meh, whatever, it’ll do the job! I went up and bowled my frame and Sylwia push another shot into my hand.
Me: What’s this?
Sylwia: *said something that went in one ear and immediately out the other*
Me: OKAY!!! CHEERS!!!
We toasted Sandra and wished her happy birthday and drank up. I went to bowl another frame and when I got back there was ANOTHER SHOT that Aleks has ordered for us. I didn’t even bother asking what this one was. Or, I might have and just don’t remember because that’s about when things start getting fuzzy. I remember that between shots, I got myself a Vodka tonic and the Sylwia bought me one. And I kinda drank half Ben’s Long Island when we wasn’t looking… and I bowled like SHIT.
I somewhat remember the ride home. Kinda. I remember at one point Stuart mentioned how drink he was and I rambled something back and the next thing I remember was crawling back to bed from the bathroom and moaning and wishing for GOD TO JUST KILL ME RIGHT NOW. See, I broke my Golden Drinking Rule. The only rule that matters when drinking is involved and why I’ve managed to out drink guys three times my size and wake up the next morning at 6AM and be at a car show all day and feel GREAT. The rule:
Golden Drinking Rule: Have one (1) glass of water between every glass/shot of alcohol. Half a glass is okay between shots because they come faster but NEVER LESS THAN THAT, EVER.
I didn’t have water till after the fourth shot of the night and by that time it was way too late. Ben brought me a glass when he found me passed out in bed but by that time, nothing was going to stay down.
I wasn’t able to get up out of bed to go get The Princess till 11:00AM and didn’t eat solid food till 10:00PM. I’m never ever ever drinking again. *crosses finger behind back* Really, I think the problem is that we drink so RARELY now that I’ve forgotten the important stuff. WATER! WATER! WATER!
AND! Saturday afternoon I thought that since we had no internet anyway, it would be a good time to throw all my internals into the new Cooler Master case that Ben brought home for me. I only got the motherboard and cards in before people started showing up for the party and last night I got the power supply in there and every thing wired up to power. Now I just need to get the IDE cable’s in and fire her up. If you see me online tonight, all went well. If not, I’ve totally screwed something up and am pissed off I’m not getting to play WOW for the 8TH DAY IN A ROW.