Oh there’s so much to talk about and I really wish I had the energy or the time or the desire. I’m not sure this is the place. People read aflux. More people than let on… If I went into everything here it would only escalate and revive what I let go of today.
I had to send an email today to somebody I thought I could trust with my life and let him know that not only is that trust broken, but it’s damaged to the point that I really have no desire to ever even try to fix it. Maybe some day. Maybe not. Probably not. I’m not a forgive and forget kinda person. I’m a forgive and never let myself get to the point I can feel so betrayed again kinda person. Safe.
Along with the email I sent the aggression, the stress, the worry, the bad energy… Like an emotional attachment (pun intended). It’s yours now to do with as you may. You own it. It’s not mine anymore.
I’ve been physically ill since Sunday evening. I think it’s 75% virus and 25% poison from this drama. Hopefully now I can start to recover both mentally and physically.
I’m NOT GETTING SICK. I’m cuddling with Ben and temporarily forgetting that anything else in the world matters.