So, Cassidy’s father called her yesterday for the first time in three months. Nice, eh? It actually IS nice because it had been six moths since he called to ask to have her for summer…. Somebody must have reminded him it was her birthday. Or, reminded him that he HAS a daughter.
While on the phone he asked when is the next time he can see her. I’ve told him no less than five times that her school has a calendar online that he can access whenever he wants to know what her scheduled days off are. I’m not about to hold his hand through that anymore. He also has the schools name, phone number, address, etc. If it means so much to you (I’m assuming it’s about as important as CALLING her is) then LOOK IT UP, asshat.
But the zinger… He asked me how far Infineon Raceway is from us. I told him 4-5 hours because that’s how long it seemed like it took Ben and I to get there when we went but after talking to Ben, he said it’s only about 2 hours away. Anyway, he asked because he “really wants to see her and he’s going to be up there racing with Patrick (See: Worlds 3rd biggest asshole) and was wondering if he would be able to see her at the track”.
Instead of thinking for a second before I spoke and trying to be dimplomatic:
Me: So you are going to drive 8 hours on the weekend of Cassidy’s birthday to go RACE with PATRICK but you can’t EVER take a day off to even come VISIT her. Or CALL HER?!
I realized right away that my foot was planted too firmly into my mouth to say anything past that so I just something about Cassidy wanting to talk to him and gave her back the phone.
SEE HER AT THE TRACK! Are you serious! I don’t know what more humorous! The fact that you think after two calls in a year that I’d actually offer to drive her there or the fact that you think you’d actually spend time with her AT THE TRACK or that you think her idea of an OMGHAPPY birthday with her dad would be to spend it AT THE TRACK! Maybe if you paid me 1% of the $20,000+ in child support you owe me I’d CONSIDER the POSSIBILITY for .12 seconds! But probably not!
I KNOW I should not let his shoddy parenting get to me. I KNOW that eventually Cassidy will realize this when she gets older and that he’s really digging his own grave with her. But there is still the small, naive hope that one day he will grow up and start to BE A DAD. Be a person she can count on. Be somebody who calls more than twice a year when a family member reminds him she exists.
But it’s NOT going to change. Racing is still more important than his daughter. His buddies are still more important than his daughter. His girlfriend is now more important than his daughter. Work is more important than his daughter. This is NOT going to change. Ever. Time to squash that naive part of me and get rid of the last of it for good.
Let go. Stop expecting better things from him. Stop trying to understand why things don’t and won’t change. Let him be the father he is going to be. Let Cassidy determine the relationship she will have with him. Just. Let. Go.