Why is it that I find MySpace so annoying and I never post there? I’ll give you the short list:
- StupidSlowâ„¢ load times.
- Page after page of aliased flashing gifs that cause me to have seizures.
- BRIGHT YELLOW text on a LIME GREEN background that cause my eyes to bleed in pain and force me to CTRL + A just to read.
- Band Spam. If I like your music I STILL won’t add you. Just. Stop.
- StupidMenâ„¢. No, I won’t add you. No I won’t message you back. No, I won’t tell you my shoe size (WTF?!). I only add people I know in real life or that I’ve met through various message boards/blogs and like. And I don’t like many people so there’s a 98.354% chance I won’t like you either.
- Fucking embedded music players. The last thing I want while browsing the web is your crappy music blaring in the background and waking the dead man in the shed out back. It’s intrusive and ghey and insulting that you even think I’d like that music anyway. Whatever it is.
- Fucking embedded video’s. See above. Every time I visit my little brothers profile I’m assaulted by the sound of some idiot kid having a violent encounter with his keyboard. I’d like to have a violent encounter with the punk that posted it in his comments.
- MySpaceHoochiesâ„¢. They are all over the place. They’ve infected it like a nasty virus. You can’t stand to see them but you still stop and stare. Like looking at road kill. Only road kill is not as Photoshopped and a little more appealing.
It’s sad really. They basically opened a flood gate of stupidity and every moron on the planet with a digital camera and an internet connection now has a way to pollute the web. One of the girls at work was showing another her MySpace yesterday. This is the same girl I overheard asking another how to add “more pixels to her camera” and “what’s the difference between a regular pixel and a mega one”. *shudder*
It’s not that I think all these people shouldn’t be allowed on the internet. (I might actually think that a little but for the sake of my point, believe it okay?) Or that every person on MySpace is guilty of one of the above offences. I guess it’s just my way of not welcoming change. Once upon a time, having a personal spot on the web was kind of a badge of honor us geeks wore proudly. Now, with the invention of idiot proof pre designed community sites it’s just become a new fad. Like those horrid leggings all the girls are wearing now. Or blue eye shadow.
12 year olds posting crotch shots complete with ‘My Humps’ as background music and their names in pink and purple “sparkling” image next to a glowing Playboy Bunny seems to cheapen all the hard work and dedication that goes into what you get at a personal domain. What you see here at aflux or over at Amabilis. Places where the emphasis is on creative individualism and eye candy and on leaving your personal mark on something.
Or maybe I’m just freaking the fuck out because a neighbor boy left a love letter in the mailbox for Cassidy in which he calls her is girlfriend.