Yesterday Ben and I pulled into a Starbucks drive through and I saw that they have S’mores frappuccinos.
S’MORES. FRAPPUCCINOS. YOU GUYS!
Me: Can they make frapps with soy milk?
Ben: I’m sure but you can ask.
Me: I want a grande soy caramel frappuccino with no whipped cream.
So Ben pulls up to the magic talking order box.
Ben: Can you do frappuccinos with soy milk?
Magical Talking Order Box: Yes!
Ben: Okay, I’ll have a venti s’mores frappuccino with soy and no whipped cream.
Me: *HOLY SHIT BEN IS ORDERING A FRAPPUCCINO! QUICK, LOOK AT ALL THE SNOW IN HELL!*
Magical Talking Order Box: There’s whipped cream on the bottom, that’s what makes it “s’mores”, so you don’t want that either right?
Ben: There can be NO DAIRY at all in the drink.
Me: Wait, are you ordering this for me!?
Ben: *The Look*
Me: I wanted a CARAMEL frap with no whipped cream.
Ben: I’m sorry, can I make that a CARAMEL frapp? My wife has said a lot of things.
Ben: *The Look. AGAIN.*
I got a venti soy caramel frap with no whipped cream. And a lot of looks.
Then as we were pulling up to the window I pulled up my app so that he could use it to pay and set it on the center console. Then he pulled almost PAST the window which I thought was odd but he joked with the barista about it and off she went to make our drink.
Then he got his debit card out to pay.
Me: Wait, no use the app.
Ben: *more of The Look*
Me: No REALLY. Use the app, it’s 11 points!
Me: BEN! I NEED YOU TO USE THE APP. WE NEED THE POINTS FOR FREE COFFEE.
Ben: *still smiling*
Me: WHY AREN’T YOU SAYING ANYTHING! BEN! IT’S 11 POINTS! I JUST GOT A FREE COFFEE! YOU NEED TO USE THE APP!
Ben: *laughing hysterically*
Me: THIS IS NOT FUNNY! THIS IS VERY SERIOUS. BEN, I’M SERIOUS! YOU HAVE TO USE THE APP!
Barista: It will just be a second.
Me: DON’T TAKE THE CARD! I HAVE MY PHONE!
Ben: *laughing harder*
Me: OMG IS THIS WHY YOU PULLED UP SO FAR SO I COULDN’T SEE THE BARISTA AND TELL HER TO TAKE MY PHONE!
Me: BEN I’M SERIOUS! YOU’RE MAKING ME CRY!
Ben: You’re crying because you are laughing so hard.
Me: BUT STILL! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!?
Ben: Because you are predictable and I knew it would be funny.
Me: But you’re paying with my phone, right?
Ben: I was never going to use my card.
Me: I HATE YOU SO MUCH!
Me: SO MUCH!
PS – I don’t really hate him. He teases my like this daily. DAILY.