Fear of something is at the root of hate for others, and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.

In my head this is how I want this post to go:

Dear America,

Don’t be a dick.

<3, Antigone

In reality, I think it’s going to take more words. And ALL CAPS. And annoying segmented sentences.

Before I even start I want to be very clear that I’m not basing my judgement on Chick-Fil-A’s president’s words. Although I believe they were ignorant and extraordinarily misinformed, he has the right to express his own opinion. I think I am smart enough to separate The Man from The Brand and while I don’t agree with what he said AT ALL, I DO believe he has the right to say it.

The reason I don’t like CFA is not because of the bigoted words of one man, it’s because the company supports hate and that is not something I am willing to sit by and ignore. Let’s look at some numbers:

In 2009 alone, WinShape (Chick-Fil-A’s Charitable Arm) donated $1,733,699 to multiple anti-gay groups:
Marriage & Family Legacy Fund: $994,199
Fellowship Of Christian Athletes: $480,000
National Christian Foundation: $240,000
Focus On The Family: $12,500
Eagle Forum: $5,000
Exodus International: $1,000
Family Research Council: $1,000

In 2010, WinShape donated $1,974,380 to a number of anti-gay groups:
Marriage & Family Foundation: $1,188,380
Fellowship Of Christian Athletes: $480,000
National Christian Foundation: $247,500
New Mexico Christian Foundation: $54,000
Exodus International: $1,000
Family Research Council: $1,000
Georgia Family Council: $2,500

You can learn all about those organizations from the source links but lets just look at one example to better understand what’s going on. In order to become a member of the Fellowship Of Christian Athletes you have to agree to their sexuality standards. This is a part of the application on their website along with a question asking how you address students when they question you about homosexuality:

God desires His children to lead pure lives of holiness. The Bible is clear in teaching on sexual sin including sex outside of marriage and homosexual acts. Neither heterosexual sex outside of marriage nor any homosexual act constitute an alternate lifestyle acceptable to God.
While upholding God’s standard of holiness, FCA strongly affirms God’s love and redemptive power in the individual who chooses to follow Him. FCA’s desire is to encourage individuals to trust in Jesus and turn away from any impure lifestyle.


They gave $980,000 to this ONE organization alone. This organization that WILL NOT ACCEPT YOU IF YOU ARE GAY. PERIOD.

This money was not donated by The Man, it was donated by The Brand. The CFA company donates this money from the profits it makes selling it’s food. Therefore, I will never (and HAVE NEVER) purchased anything from CFA. Now, up until the last few days I never mentioned this to anybody. For the same reason I never talk about the fact that I don’t shop at Walmart because of their support of anti-gay causes (and because it’s the most infuriatingly bullshit experience to have to shop there). And if I ever had a son I’d never allow him to be a Boy Scout because they won’t allow gays in the organization. I don’t feel like I need to tell people why I choose to support, or NOT support, a certain company because I assume if it’s important to people, they’ll do their own research and learn for themselves what they are, or are not, willing to support with their own money.

I was happy never going to or discussing CFL. When CFL president Dan Cathy went on the air and made baseless outrageous claims about how “damaging” same sex marriage is and this all blew up in the media, I just kind of sat back and watched for a few days to see where it all going to go and I have to admit, I wasn’t at all surprised to see this turn into what it did but I was completely disgusted by what happened all across America yesterday.

And here is where I differ from a lot of people. I do not see this as a 1st Amendment issue. Dan Cathy can stand in front of CFL store and preach his hate all day long. I am FINE with that. What I do not, and will never get, is this outpouring of people willing to rally around that message.

Everybody that knows me, online or off, knows that I am a loud mouth pain in the ass. I have very strong convictions and I will stand up for what I believe in. ALWAYS. I will also not stand by online (or in real life) and watch while people virtually spit in the face of the people I care about when all they are trying to do is LOVE. Bullying is a huge problem. We teach our kids not to be complacent. We’ve told Cassidy that standing by and NOT saying something when she sees it happening makes her just as guilty as the offending bully.

But somehow we live in a country where it’s okay to just look the other way. Where apparently our freedom of SPEECH is MORE IMPORTANT than the freedom to get married and commit your life to the person you love. It makes me very sad. Sad that we look back 47 years ago and think it’s ridiculous that it was ILLEGAL for interracial couples to get married but then turn and look the other way and ignore the fact that THE VERY SAME THING IS HAPPENING. RIGHT NOW. TODAY.

It makes me sad that people decided that the time to “stand up and fight” was in the fight against love. Men are shooting up movie theaters because medical and mental health care in this country are a fucking joke. AMERICAN CHILDREN are starving. Dogs are being bred to FIGHT TO THE DEATH. Homeless people are freezing to death on the streets in the winter… but hundreds of thousands of people yesterday thought it was important to fight for one man’s right to publicly deny a group of people the right to love who they choose.

I am sad that this is the world my daughter is going to grow old in. My only hope is that one day she, or at least my grand kids, will look back and write blog posts about how ridiculous it is that there was a time when gay people were not allowed to get married.

In the mean time I think that everybody should go read this blog post:

The Chick Fellatio: stuck in the craw
“So stand up. Stand up for us. Do the right thing. You don’t have to agree with us on everything, but repudiate Chick-Fil-A. Unlike them on Facebook. Withdraw your support for them. Join us in the boycott. If you can’t do that, then please ask yourself whether I’m your friend. In fact, ask yourself whether anyone is.”

2 thoughts on “Fear of something is at the root of hate for others, and hate within will eventually destroy the hater.

  1. Very well written post – and the fact that you included facts and informative links just makes it that much more awesome. Now I’m off to read The Chick Fellatio (and solidify my decision with Dan to drop Ryan out of Boy Scouts).

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