Friday Craigslist LAWLS

Remember all those rocks I mentioned before? The ones we removed, one at a time, from the GIGANTIC pond in the back yard? Well, we’ve been meaning to put them up on Craigslist for quite some time and Ben finally got them up today. Now, we are GIVING these rocks away.


We could probably make a few hundred dollars on them but we JUST. WANT. THEM. GONE. and posting them for free Ben had quite a few hits in a very short amount of time. The first response was from a nice couple that is in the process of building a pond for themselves and are going to be here tomorrow morning to haul them all away.

BUT! The great thing about Craigslist is that there are always THOSE people out there. You know, THEM. And Ben got one. The following exchange is the reason that I was never in a great rush to list them myself and also why I’m so glad Ben took on the task:

Crazy ass Rock Guy (AKA: Steve):


Yes, I am very interested to take most of all of your rock this Sunday. Sat might be possilbe after 3 but I have to wait for another confirmation. However, Sunday is best for me. Please let me know if it is ok.

[Phone number redacted to protect the innocent stupid]


Rocks are tenatively spoken for, but will update once they’re taken (hopefully tomorrow).

Crazy ass Rock Guy:

No idea what you mean by saying rocks are tenatively spoken for. So you still have them available or not?


Tentatively spoken for means that someone has contacted me and is making plans to come get them, but they have not picked them up yet.


Crazy ass Rock Guy:

You must be an University teacher or belonging to the Poetry Club. In a daliy life and common usage, we don’t use your language. It can only cause more confusion.



I’m sorry for taking the time to give you an update. Please disregard all of my previous emails and the advertisement I took the time to write, and generosity for giving away free landscaping rocks (just…wow…). I don’t know who ‘we’ is, but I don’t belong to that group.

Let me put it in language that better suits you (sigh).

You will never get them.

Enjoy your weekend,
-a generous asshole.

And because Steve is one of those persistant kind of whack jobs he didn’t give up and Ben got these about an hour ago:

Fucken smart ass…rocks don’t speak man so wtf u mean by saying rocks are tentatively spoken for…….U don’t even know what the fuck u are talking about u idiot.. tentatively AHOLE ….make more sense

Then 8 minutes later:

fucken retarded W trash– Obama is a president now u ahole…..

WOW?! Obama is president?! I had no clue! I really didn’t! I’m so glad that I had this educated voting member of society to inform me!

19 thoughts on “Friday Craigslist LAWLS

  1. Wow, just wow. I loved Ben’s response. I’m not the brightest person in the world, but even I understood tentatively spoken for.

  2. Oh my god…you know, it’s a conversation like this that you couldn’t even make up if you tried! I’m so glad you posted it on here, though.

    I think my favorite part is when Steve puts it into a more suitable language, “You will never get them” haha. All over some rocks!

    I put my apartment on Craigslist two years ago to try and sublet it and I got some really…crazy…questions and I could tell no one read what I had posted because I had already answered most of the questions in the original post!

    “Rocks don’t speak man!” hahaha.

    Steve should give up on the rocks and seek a dictionary!

  3. This is one of those emails, where, in all honesty, english was not something ‘steve’ understood, or simply, he was ignorant. I suspect it was english he was having a problem with. Ah well, good for a scratch of the head and a laugh 🙂

  4. What does Obama have to do with anything? How could you just let the conversation end there? I wouldn’t be able to let that go without having a little bit more fun with Steve. Wow. We have quite a bit of stuff we’re thinking about selling now that we’ve moved, and I had considered using CL. I hope someone like Steve contacts me if I do.

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