As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

We are officially in the NEW HOUSE. I will continue to capitalize till the NEW HOUSE feel wears off because that’s how I say it in real life. “We went to the NEW HOUSE last night to unlock the gate so the guy could get into the back yard of the NEW HOUSE to work on the NEW HOT TUB.” People look at me a little odd when I say it but no more than usual so I’m used to it.

"You're blocking my sun."

There was more NEW HOUSE drama yesterday when after work, I swung by the old house to pick up the cats and all the alcohol. I’m not sure why the most important things made it to the NEW HOUSE last.

Ben and the movers had been there and gone so the house was dead quiet and pretty empty. Both the cats aren’t really people lovers so I wasn’t surprised that they’d gone outside when their territory was invaded by several Samoans who were taking all their stuff away.

Hans was in the back yard and when I opened the door he was a little wary, but as soon as he saw it was me he came running and was all, “MAI HOOMAN!! I HAZ HAPPY AND REEKWIRE KEESES AND HUGZ!!” But I couldn’t find KC anywhere. I hung around for an hour and a half packing my car up and calling and calling and Hans kept looking at me like “MY GAWD I’M RIGHT HERE” but no KC anywhere. She’s usually the one that never leaves the yard, or the HOUSE for that matter, so I was a bit concerned. I ended up leaving Hans for that trip thinking that if she came back, he’d be there too so she’d hang around.

I told Ben I was worried so after dinner we drove back over in the truck to pack up a load of the smaller stuff and again we called and called and no KC. I packed up Hans to take back to the NEW HOUSE and as we drove away Ben assured me that KC was probably just hiding out somewhere still pissed off at the ENORMOUS men that had been in her house all afternoon and that she’d turn bacK up. I was pretty sick with worry. I honestly don’t know how the fat ass could have gotten over a fence… she has a hard time hauling all the weight onto our BED. Plus, she has no front claws so I had this horrible vision of some bastard male cat tearing her up. I left the back door open and her food and water dish out so she could get to it and decided to come back before work in the morning to look for her again.

You wish...

So we get Hans to the NEW HOUSE and he’s not please AT ALL. He hides behind the toilet for the first hour then follows me around letting me know he’s pissed for the rest of the time till we got into bed around 11:00PM. I took a shower and passed the hell out since we’d been up till 1:30 AM that morning doing last minute packing and disassembling furniture for the movers.

For two whole hours I slept and it felt SO GOOD…

And then at 1:00AM Hans started meowing. And meowing. And meowing. And meowing.

Hans doesn’t like to use litter boxes. He goes outside like a dog to do his business but there’s no way I’m turning him loose in a new neighborhood when he’s not even used to the house yet. He’ll use the litter box if it’s NECESSARY, but otherwise he’ll hold it till somebody lets him out.

Ben: Do you think he forgot where the litter box is?
Me: *mumble*
Ben: I’m going to take him downstairs and show him again.
Me: *mumble*

OMG QUIET! *fall asleep*

Five minutes later…

Round 2: KC

Ben: I think he’ll be better now.
Me: Did he go?
Ben: He pooped and peed.
Me: Awesome.

OMG QUIET! *fall alseep*

Five minutes later Hans started meowing. And meowing. And meowing. And meowing.

At 2:00AM I put a pillow over my head to try and sleep.

At 3:00AM I put ANOTHER pillow over my head to try and sleep.

At 4:00AM he caught on and SAT ON MY HEAD and clawed at my arm.

At 4:30AM my alarm clock went off so I could leave early to check for KC and the old house.

So I got 4 hours of sleep Wednesday and 2 hours last night. And I want to strangle Hans with his own tail.

At 4:45AM Ben and I both got up… and Hans stopped meowing. He got so quiet, in fact, that Ben was worried he had gotten outside. I don’t think he did. I was REALLY careful when I was leaving to make sure that he wasn’t anywhere near the door. I think he’s just SO EXHAUSTED FROM KEEPING US UP ALL NIGHT that he climbed into a pile of boxes somewhere to fall asleep.

I got to the old house at 5:30AM, held my breath and opened the door… and there is KC. Her reaction was completely different than Hans’. It was more like, “WTF HOOMAN!? I HAZ BEEN UP ALL NITE! U R GROUNDED!” I was so overcome with relief that I walked over to pick her up and give her love and she turned her back to me and pranced away like “WHATEVER, I HAZ NO LOVE 2 GIVE.”

Round 1: Hans

So now I’m at work and EXHAUSTED and frustrated and I both cats are pretty high up on my shit list. I think that part of Hans freaking the fuck out last night was that KC was missing. I mean, part of it was being that he couldn’t go out but he usually stays in all night and doesn’t go out till I get up in the morning. But it’s a new strange place and his buddy was missing and I think that had KC been there, he wouldn’t have been quite as freaked out. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself now. If he pulls that shit again tonight I’m gonna lock him in the bathroom with the litter box and food. If I don’t get some sleep tonight there’s a good chance I’LL start pacing the room meowing…

Other than all that, the house is AWESOME. I unpacked a lot of the kitchen last night and every time I walk through a room I love it more and more and more. This just feels so RIGHT. This place, this time, it’s so right for us. We are going to be really happy here.

17 thoughts on “As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

  1. Awww Poor Hans, Though the first night we moved to our new house when we had my dog, While the movers were moving us, she was tied up to the tree out in front of our old house watching and barking at them taking her furniture, then my sister took her and drove up to our new house and the whole was to the house our dog layed on her lap (not something she usually did, while we were driving). Then once at the new house she explored it pooped in the backyard promptly. then the movers showed up with all our stuff. it was like a sense of relief for her. after the movers and our friends had left Rusty was upstairs under my sisters bed and we were downstairs and all the sudden we hear this horrible yelping and howling we had never heard before, our poor baby was scared and sad that we moved her from her home. She slept with us that night to make sure we werent leaving her. then for the next week she didnt leave our side and finally realized ok, all my furniture is here my humans are here. I think this is my new home! So yah it took about a week, for her to get used to things I think it helped that My parents didnt sign me up for school for a couple weeks just to have someone home with her during the day, so it was a couple weeks before she was alone.

  2. Awwww, poor puppy. KC is an old pro at moving because I’ve had her for 10 years. She moved four times in Bakersfield, then all the way to San Jose and twice since then. She’s like, whatever… different house, new floors to lay on.

    This is the first move for Hans and he’s pretty much a basket case. I’m hoping that bringing KC home today will make him calm down a bit. If not, we have a LOT of unused Vicodin… 😉

    PS – TOTALLY KIDDING, ANIMAL PEOPLE. OF COURSE I’d never give the cat Vicodin. I’d just take it myself. DUH!

  3. congratulations on the NEW HOUSE!! 🙂 that must be so exciting. i bet all the trouble and chaos it’s causing will be so worth it. we got NEW KITTIES so they’re exploring our OLD APARTMENT and they stay up whining and screaming, too. except it’s not for any particular/fixable reason. just to piss us off and make us want to throw them out the window. i’m glad you found yours. i wish we could lose ours right now…!!!!

  4. I’ve been in my NEW HOUSE for about a year, and I’m just now starting to say it once in awhile without the capital letters. Congratulations!

  5. Hey, capitalizing is always a good thing. I’m pretty sure I set up a separate category for our move into our new (now old, heh) place. 😉 And damn straight the alcohol and cats go last: that’s how we did it! Come to think of it, we didn’t move the cats until three days after WE moved, lol.

    Hans sounds a lot like my mother’s red cat. Just a real pain in the freaking ass until you do what he wants. I’m sorry he destroyed what could have been a good night’s sleep, but that’s how cats are. I’ll never forget the morning I woke up in a PUDDLE because my cat was so angry at me, he pissed on me sometime in the middle of the night.

    Anyway, I’m glad that you’ve got both Hans and KC with you. Hopefully they’ll settle in soon and stop driving you crazy.

  6. I remember your move being really stressful, Jenn. Why does it have to be that way?! It’s not like I’m asking a lot. I just want to move into my new house completey furnished and unpacked already! Easy enough, right? Right?!

  7. Pictures are coming for sure! Our internet turned on TODAY. FINALLY! So I will probably get a few up today and then much more in the days to come. The house is still a MESS with boxes all over but I want a lot of before pictures so when we start to fix things up, we have shots.

  8. YAY PICTURES!!! I like pictures i cant wait for pictures. When we moved, my dog was the first thing to go to the new house. my sister left probably a hour or 2 before us. then again. we moved 60 miles away. and leaving her there was not a option

  9. Hope you eventually got some sleep. My dogs did the same thing when we moved…except it was barking of course…I’d be scared if they mewed. But I just saw your Flickr photos and your house is georgeous! and must I mention I’m super jealous of your closet!

  10. Glad the little one finally came out!

    A few weeks ago, I had quite a scare with my cat. There were 5 dogs here – my lab mix puppy and my parents’ shih tzus. Anyway, I looked for Romeo EVERYWHERE, including calling for him outside. My parents and boyfriend were making fun of me because I was so worried; they kept saying “he’s in here somewhere, he couldn’t have gotten out!!”

    Well finally, I looked at the entertainment center, which is all black (just like Romeo). I noticed black fur up against the glass doors. Fucking cat. He was sleeping the whole time!

  11. It definitely sounds like Hans missed KC. That’s how my cats act when they don’t have each other. They just cry and cry and cry until they can confirm the other on is near.

    Congrats on the new house! I can’t wait til I can do that.

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