Watching Carrielee and Cassidy together is magical. They love eachother SO MUCH. Cassidy looks up to her like she is a big sister. She wants to do everything Carrielee does. She want’s to talk like Carrielee talks. She wants to dress like Carrielee dresses. And Carrielee loves it. She’s like, ‘YES! Wear my pants, and my shoes, and let me do your hair, and I’ll put some blush on your cheeks, and hold my hand while we skip off into the perfect pink sunset!’
They were inseparable the entire weekend. When we got home from another fantastic Reid Family Dinner they sat on the couch and tickled eachother and told silly jokes with absolutely no meaning and farted (Reid Family Dinners will do that to ya! ;)) and laughed so hard they could hardly breathe. And that made me laugh so hard I could hardly breathe. So finally I told them, “OKay, it’s late, calm down!” So they stopped laughing for 2 seconds and fell instantly asleep. They do that. They wake up as soon as their little bodies are capable of movement and GO! FULL SPEED! FULL OF LAUGHTER!! till their little bodies can’t process anymore and they pass out, HARD, so that they can wake up as soon as possible to do it all over again.
They do this till I say it’s time to go and they both just fall apart. Cassidy did really well this time. Didn’t cry at all till we got home and it was time to go to bed and when I walked in her room she has gigantic tears welling down her face.
Me: What’s wrong, Baby?
I ask this even though I know the answer because I want her to talk about it.
Cassidy: I miss Carrielee.
Me: I know, Honey. Come here.
Me: I think it’s so awesome that you have a best friend that you love so much. That’s very special.
Cassidy: But it hurts my heart.
*heart shatters on the floor on a bazillion pieces*
I promised her that tomorrow (today [now TWO days ago because I suck and have sat on this post for three days]) we will call Carrielee and print out some of the pictures from the weekend to send to them. And I’m sure that once she’s back in the school routine and playing with her girlfriends that the hurt in her heart will lessen. I just think it’s so cool that she has such a powerful bond with somebody. And it’s even cooler that the somebody is named after me (she got her middle name from me) and who I got to watch be BORN and helped raise for the first few years of her life.
So maybe it’s something the four of us share. Amber, Me, Cassidy and Carrielee. I don’t think anybody will ever really understand us because even Amber and I are very different people, but there’s a connection I have with her and even though we don’t get to see eachother more than a handful of times a year, it’s just THERE. We went through A LOT together. We were eachother’s rock through times and through things that don’t ever leave you. At the core of it all, I think that knowing, loving, then losing Ada has bonded us in a way that can’t ever be broken. Her death is something I rarely talk about, even with Ben. It’s still a really painful memory. I should so that someday, though. I should write it all out before it becomes any more cloudy than it already is.
But, that’s for another day! The weekend was awesome and it was SO GOOD to get to see everybody again. Once I have pictures uploaded, I’ll make get a post up with all the fun stuff.
I have to start posting more for my dad who pointed out my lack of updates this weekend