I wasn’t sure how to start the story of my new car. So, I’m starting from the very beginning. The first time I met Ben was online. On BakersfieldStreetRacing.com (BSR) to be exact…
*crazy wavy fade to flashback*
I was a moderator at the time and this n00b named Dinanify came on the forum and started a big stink. A couple of the local guys didn’t like Dinanify because they thought he might have a
bigger penis faster car than them so they decided to talk a little whole lotta shit. I told the boys to play nice and closed the thread. Dinanify AIMed me to tell me that he wasn’t offended and that he had been laughing the whole time. Dinanify was cool!
Not long after we had a Christmas Toy drive to donate them to a homeless shelter. My friend, Crazy Redhead, assured me that Dinanify was HAWT and asked him to park his car by our booth. I was far too cold and far too busy to notice anything other than the leather jacket and shoes. They were nice shoes. Dinanify liked to shop. Dinanify was really cool!!
In late January I finally met Dinanify face to face out at the street races one night. He told me his name was Ben. That’s about all I remember because there was a lot of people, it was dark, goddamn cold, and I had been drinking 80 proof Rootbeer Schnapps in Dr. Pepper all night (original drink created by me and crazy Redhead known as Doctored Pepperâ„¢).
A few weekends later Crazy Redhead told me I HAD to take a ride in his car. It was a German car. How cool could it possibly be? It wasn’t even a V8!! But I was convinced as soon as I saw all the pretty buttons. So. Pretty. Ben raced a built Mustang and lost by half the width of a fly’s back leg. I was impressed! What was this German car that drove so well?
I did some research when he logged onto the BSR’s IRC chat (a boy with a pretty car with lots of buttons that was fast AND HE’S A GEEK *swoon*) and they started talking about M3’s. Not too long after he told us he worked at Nvidia. That isn’t really pertinent, but HE WORKED AT NVIDIA!!! It was not conceivable to me why women didn’t FLOCK to this man. As a matter of fact, he was having girl issues. Apparently some stupid girl was giving him the run around. (Aside to the girl: I don’t remember your name, but THANK YOU for being an idiot and letting him slip through your fingers!!)
*cue film to 3-4 months post divorce*
I wasn’t long before Ben wasn’t the funny guy with the crazy German car and the awesome shopping skills… he was the HOT funny guy with the crazy German car and the awesome shopping skills. And I noticed. And apparently he noticed me too because one weekend he drove into town and took me out on a date. In his crazy German car. And the first corner he took at about 45 miles per hour and I peed myself a little. Luckily he did this BEFORE we ate because he didn’t know then of my weak tummy.
The next weekend after about 10 corners at 45 miles per hour I looked at him straight in the face and told him, “YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZY LET ME OUT OF THIS CAR YOU AN INSANE DRIVER.” He swore to me that M3’s were not like American cars… So to prove to me that he wasn’t crazy he took me to a long straight backroad, took the car to about 100 MPH, slammed on the brakes and came to a complete and controlled stop in about 2 feet.
So that was my introduction to M3’s. Since then at different times they’ve made me scream with laughter, cry out of frustration and throw up.
Not long after we went on that first date, we shared our first kiss in his M3. Top down, cool fall evening, millions of stars in the sky… [/mushy stuff]
*jump back to present time*
About two weeks ago, I told Ben I was ready for my own M3. After he peed himself, we started looking. Last Thursday, one day before I thought I’d get the car, Ben drove into the drive way in my M3 to surprise me. MY M3. And it was love at first sight.
Thank you, honey. Thank you for being so patient in the search, for finding me the perfect car, and most of all for the thought and planning it took to surprise me with it. After our conversation Monday, I look back and I realize just how much that really meant to me… and what it meant to you to be able to do it for me. (k)