jingle… jingle..jingile jingle jingle jingle…. jingle..

The Avon Lady has on a bracelet with jingle bells. Like 142,000 bells that jingle every time she moves any part of her body. When she wiggles her toes, her bells ring.

I’m talking the kind of bells you see on those cute little sweaters with a big Santa face and twinkling red and green lights for eyes. The kind of sweater a kindergarten teacher wears the entire month of December annoying the sanity right out of every one of her students with the flashing eyes and the jingling bells…

It started getting annoying at about 8:00AM. Right now I’m counting the seconds till the jingle stops. If she has them on tomorrow morning there’s a good chance she’ll be passing them by bowel movement tomorrow night. And I might be looking for a new job. Or in jail. One of the two.

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