Month: June 2004

I’ve watched a lot of this weeks tributes to Ronald Reagan. I watched the procession, the state and federal funerals and the final funeral. I was taken aback with the strength of Nancy Reagan through all of these affairs. Never a tear, never a glimpse of any sort of weakness…

Then, at the very end, they gave her the flag that had traveled thousands of miles across the country shrouding her husband in honor and she finally succumbed to grief. A grief ten years in the making. As she leaned over and kissed the final resting place of her husband, the man that millions of people loved, my heart broke for her.

I never knew Ronald Reagan ‘The president’. I never got the chance to vote for him, I never heard his political spiel, or really what he stood for. What I do know is that even before death, when either Republican or Democrat spoke to me about Ronald Reagan, whether they agreed with his political stance or not, they spoke of the greatness of the man.

Ben is selling his car. I know this is not news to many, but he has actually found a buyer who is very interested and if all goes well he will own the car by late next week.

I have to say that when Ben first talked of selling the car over a year ago I thought there was no way in hell he’d be able to let go of it. He loves the car and moreso he loves to DRIVE the car. But at almost $1100 a month in car payments and insurance, it’s a huge financial strain right now. If that payment was not necessary he could get credit card debt paid off a lot faster and then he’d be able to afford something nice like that again.

Another huge factor is that is a convertable. Ben really wants to be able to track the car but he can’t because it doesn’t have a roll bar. A roll bar would make the back seat inaccessible to five year olds… or anybody for that matter.

So in an attempt to get on stable ground financially, Ben has decided that the best thing he can do right now is to sell his M3. I’m am in awe of his dedication to making things better even though it means giving something up that he loves and takes great joy in. I have the strongest, most dedicated, and smartest boyfriend in the world. :love:

My poor kitty lives SUUUUUUUUUCH a hard life. I just don’t know how she manages every day.

And here’s one of the princess just because she’s so damn cute!!

We all went to the tennis courts so that Ben and I could play a quick game and Cassidy could play ball girl. We had not gone in a few days and we were both feeling like we needed to get a little workout in. All the courts were full and there were people waiting to get on them so we decided to try again tomorrow since we got there kinda late as it was.

On the way home we stopped and got the stuff to make chocolate cake. It’s baking now. :pig:

Courtesy of Busy Mom.

The guy that started the website Postcards for Moms has started a new website Postcards for Kids.

If you are not familiar with the site’s, read the story about how it all started on the ‘Moms’ site. It’s a very cute story. Now, he offers a ‘Kids’ site.

Basically what you do is email him, he returns the email with the address to a child who needs a little cheer in their life. He changes the moms and kids about quarterly and the only rule is not to mention the website. That way, they get a bunch of encouriging mail from strangers to brighten their day. I’m going to have Cassidy draw a nice little picture today and send it out to the little girl.

I can remember how hard Ada had it while on chemo and I feel like this is something that she would have really wanted to have done herself. So since she’s not here anymore, I’m going to do it for her. A stamp is a pretty cheap investment to make to brighten a little girl’s day. :angel:

So far June’s top search string hits have me a bit worried. For the life of me I don’t know where I’ve talked about a Jesus bong or menstral pads and who in the hell would want a PICTURE of one?!?! *shudders*

Next weekend Cassidy is going to be leaving for her dads house on Friday (the 18th). She will be gone for a whole month. Actually more, I’m going to give her to Troy till August 1st. 47 days. OMG!! 47 DAYS. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with her being gone that long. I’m going to insist on getting to see her two weekends out of the month and a half. A month and a half. Jesus.

The worst time for me when she leaves, even when she’s only leaving for a week, is the first day or two that she’s gone. I’m so used to always being aware of her presence. Geting homework done, feeding her 18 times a day (growth spurt), taking her to school and picking her up (one of my favorite times of the day with her is on the way to and from school), washing her hair, reading her a bed time story, saying ‘Star Light Star Bright’ and making a wish… these are all things that I do EVERY day.

So of course Ben is my rock and guiding light for those first 2-3 days that she is gone. Well, his step-mom Kandy and his dad have invited him up to Washington to spend Fathers Day with his dad. It was a really nice gesture on both their parts. Since we are beyond broke at the moment, they are paying for his airplane tickets. I’m excited for him because I know that he will have a good time getting to see them all and his sister and her kids.

BUT, I’m not going to have anybody here to tell me to stop being over dramatic about Cassidy being gone. Since I’ve been battling the deprssion I’ve really depended on Ben a lot. I know that I need to start dealing with stuff like this on my own… but Jesus, A MONTH AND A HALF!!!!

I have problems being alone. I have had this problem since the depression kicked in hard core about three months before I moved up here. When I’m alone I feel like the world around me is so big it’s going to swollow me up and nobody will ever be able to find me ever again. I almost get a little scared to leave the house. This feeling kicks in hard core as soon as Cassidy leaves to go to her dads house. But now, she is going to be gone and Ben is going to be in ANOTHER STATE!

(don’t hyperventilate)

I actually started to tear up when thinking about it earlier. This is going to be a REAL test of strength for me. And a test of sanity.

A month and a half.

Why is it that on Trading Spaces they have only ONE carpetner for TWO rooms?? Yet on While You Were Out they have TWO carpenters for ONE room?!

It just doesn’t make any sense at all. NONE!

http://subliminal.lunanina.com/

1. Charity:: Passions
2. Scale:: Weight
3. Jennifer Lopez:: Stupid
4. Coercion:: Trust
5. Meter:: Distance
6. Pressure:: Cooker
7. June:: Summer
8. Infestation:: Lice
9. Serial killer:: Deranged
10. Anguish:: Sad

Ah heterosexual marriage… Such a sanctimonious event.