So I’ve been trying to pretend like this doesn’t exist for a couple days now and I was hoping that it would blow over and not pollute my news feeds with bullshit but now it just seems to be catching more steam and I feel like if I don’t say SOMETHING in response to it… I don’t know. I feel like there are certain causes a lot of people feel really strongly about and body positivity is one of mine. It is, of course, very important to spread that word around but I focus more on just dealing with my OWN issues and when I find things along the way that I think are worth sharing I do. For the most part I am comfortable in my own skin. Am I overweight? Absolutely. I will still rock a bikini at the beach, I will wear whatever the hell I want and I am SO PROUD of how strong my body is. More than I care about the fact that I have some cellulite on my legs, I care that my badass legs can power through a 4.75 mile uphill hike/run like a fucking boss.
But in my life I feel like I have one real person who I HAVE to teach to love her body. Cassidy is 16 and she’s growing up in a time when the internet is there to remind her EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. of all her shortcomings. I try very hard to teach her that EVERY SINGLE LIVING HUMAN is unique and beautiful and worthy of love and respect.
So when this video by Nicole Arbour (that I’m not going to link because she doesn’t deserve the ad revenue) titled Dear Fat People hit the internet like an atomic bomb, I knew I’d need to address it with Cassidy who was bound to see it eventually.
It is disgusting. It is fat shaming at it’s very worst that she failed to wrap in some “I’m doing this for your benefit” bullshit. Because apparently shaming people into changing suddenly started working? I mean, all these articles about how fat shaming actually only makes people gain MORE weight are totally wrong. Because science is dumb.
- The Guardian: ‘Fat shaming’ does not help people lose weight, study finds
- NBC: Fat shaming actually increases risk becoming or staying obese new study says.
- The Huffington Post: Fat Shaming Can Lead To Weight Gain — Now Can We Stop The Bullying?
The list goes on and on. The #1 way to NOT help people lose weight? SHAME THEM. STUDIES! SCIENCE!
You don’t walk up to the kid that’s struggling the most in school and tell them how stupid they are in an attempt to get them to do better. Because: COMMON SENSE!
If your marriage is failing you don’t sit on the couch and relentless hound your spouse about all the things they are doing wrong and expect the outcome to be a fixed marriage. Because: COMMON SENSE!
Is it really actually necessary to have to explain this to people? Yes, it is necessary because Nicole Arbour’s fat shaming word vomit went viral.
So I took Cassidy to dinner Thursday night and asked her if she had seen it. She said she had heard some people talking about it but that she had not seen it yet. Knowing that she was absolutely going to watch it after me asking about it, we watched it together and had a really great conversation about fat shaming and body shaming in general. I am so glad that this is a seed I planted in her a long time ago because she’s always been very open with me about her own body issues. Luckily Cassidy agreed immediately that this video was a vile and asinine attempt at “comedy” and “satire”. #ParentingWin
And here’s the thing. Had Nicole come out after the video’s reaction and said, “Hey, you know what? I see that I was really insensitive. I’m going to keep the video up because I was really just trying to be funny but I’m sorry if my words hurt you or made you feel inferior in any way” then I would have probably just shrugged my shoulders and moved on.
But her absolute refusal to take any kind of personal responsibility for her words is almost as offensive to me as her ridiculous videos. Not only will she not acknowledge her fault, she’s actually proud of the fact that she’s PROFITING off the hate. Bragging about all her new subscribers and retweeting all the people that agree with her while dismissing anybody that calls her out about being insensitive as a “hater”.
She can continue to say that haters are overly sensitive and make entire videos talking about how she’s a “comedian” but the people that are agreeing with her and backing her up are the same kind of people that think that people are “too sensitive” and in my experience people that use “you are too sensitive” are the kind of people that aren’t bothered by comments with racist undertones or offhanded comments about transgender struggles. And if those are the people you want to hitch to your fame train don’t be surprised when you wake up one day and realize that you are laying in a pile of trash and hate. That’s a sad and lonely place to be.
When I was telling Ben that I was writing this post he asked me what my end goal was. I had to pause for a second and think then told him at the end of the day, I don’t want the kind of people that think this kind of humor is funny in my life. So going forward when people post about it anywhere I’ll just link them to this post and tell them to really pay attention to the last paragraph.
If you can watch the reaction videos I posted below and still think that Nicole’s video is funny and that all these people are just “too sensitive” just do me a favor and unfriend me from any social media. And in real life. Because you are an asshole and I don’t have the time or patience for that.