To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

Okay, I know that I’ve said about 100 times before that I’m not going to post here anymore about Cassidy because she’s getting older, her friends are all on facebook and can easily find their way back to my site and I’d NEVER want to be the reason she gets shit from her friends. 12 year olds are assholes, dude

Buy living with a tween girl is an experience all it’s own. I think in my list of things I’d love to experience again it would fit snugly between colitis and that time I accidentally cut my hand off with the lawn mower. That last one only happened in a dream but still, NEVER WANT IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN.

Right now we are in the “special time”. The time when a girl becomes a woman. And then the next day declares she’s over dolls, hates the world and PS can I have money for a ticket to the dance where there will be BOYS. And possible HAND HOLDING. School dances are a gateway drug to teenage pregnancy, I’m convinced.

I hate to brag but I totally made a really cute tween.

It took me probably 2 years to warm up to the fact that Cassidy liked boys. I lived in a little denial bubble that Ben promptly burst when I came home one day and he was all, “So Cassidy had a boyfriend but she broke up with him because she saw him holding hands with another girl.”

Exactly two thoughts ran through my head:

1) BOYFRIEND!? Holding hands!

Full of tuna.

Ben suggested that maybe I was over reacting a little when I mentioned systematically eliminating every tween boy in a 50 mile radius. And even when I agreed not to do that and instead just said maybe we could inject a GPS tracking devise into her neck one night when she’s asleep. I don’t really understand why that’s illegal. If I have to be responsible for paying a fine if she doesn’t go to school, I should be allowed to MAKE SURE SHE’S AT SCHOOL.

GPS your tween. There should be an app for that.

Anyway, this is all just leading to me saying that I’m going to be posting more here about parenthood. It’s hard to have all this stuff going on and not being able to use my favorite rant outlet and I think that since most of my friends are parents of babies or toddlers, I’m kind of your test case. Learn from all the things I’ve done WRONG before you.

And parents, enjoy those sleepless nights and potty training and sore nipples now because YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA THE HALF OF IT.

12 thoughts on “To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

  1. I will definitely be tuning into these posts. Alyssa is going to be seven this year, so while I have another 4-5 years to go, those years will be here before I know it.

    P.S. Cassidy is a beautiful girl, and I love her eyes!

  2. 1 thing that I figured out about being a parent of teenagers is that you as a parent need to have an outlet to express your feelings. it may be embarrassing to the children but less embarrassing than having their friends read that their parents murdered them due to not having an emotional outlet. parenting is probably the hardest thing that you ever have to do. It Is actually quite amusing to me to listen to your ranting because I was there once. It is nice to know that I am not the only one out there dealing with these things .

  3. My daughter is 12 (she will be 13 in June) and I am stuck in tween hormonal hell! I swear I wasn’t like this until I was at least 15 lol

    1. heheh I think I hit that stage at 13. I’ve apologized to my mom at lest 50 times since Cassidy turned 10 for having do deal with me when I was a 13 year old. I hold onto the notion that someday Cassidy will be a mom and, in turn, apologise to me 😉

  4. Well I, for one, am looking forward to it. Some days I fear that Corbin is a 15-year-old trapped in a 5-year-old’s body. I mean, really – slamming the door and screaming “I hate you”? I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with that for AGES.

  5. I’m very happy that Emelye only stays with us once a week because I don’t think I could cope with an 11 year old 24/7. She started a new school a couple of months ago and within three weeks, she’d already had two different boyfriends. The thing I don’t get though is they still have moods like children but want to be treated like adults! Ugh, I can’t wait for Meghan to be this age…

  6. I think this is a GREAT idea. It’s great for me because I LOVE the relationship you have with Cassidy and hope to have something similar with Sprocket, so I can SPY and take notes and completely copy you. It’s also good because I think you know the LINE of embarrassing, so I won’t be cringing to read it. Like I’m not going to have to read “Today Casidy told me she soaked through 17 maxipads in an hour. LOL Teenagers are funny” and think “Dear God, I hope none of her friends find this site”.

    It’s also awesome because Cassidy is awesome, and watching her grow up even more will be a treat.

    1. Yeah, I think that the hardest part for me is going to be telling JUST ENOUGH of the story to get the point across, but not enough to hurt her at all. Still, I think that looking back as stuff like this in 15 years might be pretty funny to her. Also, when she has a daughter and calls to be all WHAT IS THIS KID DOING!? I can just link her to a blog post saying YOU DID THE SAME THING! YOUR TURN TO BANG YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL! While secretly texting high fives to my grandkids. 😉

  7. Andrew and I are already shopping around for convents, hopefully we’ll have Claire placed and ready to take her vows before she’s 9.

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