I’m not asleep… but that doesn’t mean I’m awake.

So I really love my iPhone. I’m an early adopter! I had an original iPhone! Then didn’t get the 3G because we had to go and buy a HOUSE and Ben was all PRIORITIES!! HOUSE BEFORE TOYS! But I got the 3Gs pretty much as soon as they were available. Then it was stolen while eating at Jerome Bettis Grille 36 in Pittsburgh and I was SO SAD. Then I got another one. Then my amazing and awesome husband made up for all that nazi house buying before toys business by sitting outside an AT&T store at the crack of dawn in the cold to get me the iPhone 4 the day they came out.

Anyway, I have always loved them. Really, really loved them.

Then the damn time went and changed on me.

So. I know that there were a lot of people that had problems with iPhones around time changes, or for some reason on New Years they went all wonky temporarily, but they seemed to get all the bugs worked out pretty quickly.

And then mine had to go and turn into a raging, hormonal, demonic asshat.

When I got up last Sunday I checked my phone and was happy to see that it had changed time perfectly. I hugged it and pet it and told it I loved it and we spent a beautiful Sunday frolicking around town and shopping and eating like BFFs do.

And then Monday morning for some unexplained reason she turned on me and our relationship at this point is barely hanging on by a thread.

(Back story: Cassidy’s alarm clock died late last week so I had to gave her mine and had been using my iPhone to get up every day.)

Monday: My alarms didn’t go off. Not a HUGE deal because I still woke up in time to get to work. Knowing that in the past you just had to delete your old alarms and create new ones, I did that and knew that the next day we’d be back on track. I even set one to go off at 3:30AM because I was all motivated to GET UP EARLY and work out! WOOHOO! THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!

Tuesday: My alarms didn’t go off. I had the one set for 3:30AM and another set for 4:15AM. Neither went off. I woke up at 5:27AM. I have to be out the door by about 5:10AM to get to work on time. We had a very serious conversation on the way to work about where our relationship was headed and how trust is something easily broken and not soon forgotten or fixed once it’s lost. I thought she listened. I thought we had synced. (HA! See what I did there!?)

I was wrong.

I also deleted all my alarms and set only one up to go off at 4:15AM. And BOUGHT AN ALARM CLOCK. I figured that eventually it would start working correctly again, but in the mean time I was going to start relying on the awesome multi color glowing alarm clock I got at Target.

Aside: I got a Timex Color Changing Alarm Clock and when I plugged it in it was LATE and admittedly I had a bit of an issue getting it set up. IT WAS LATE. Ben had to help me once or twice (or seven times) and I set it down and he was like, “So, it glows? Can you turn that off now?”

TURN IT OFF!? It CHANGES COLORS! Why in the hell would you want to turn it off!? Well, the good news is that according to the reviews on Target’s website, the glowey awesomeness is only going to last a week or two. Sadness, I’ll HAZ it.


Wednesday: Apparently buying an awesome glowey alarm clock kind of upset her because not only did she go off at 4:30AM, the same time as my alarm clock, she first went off at 3:30AM! EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS NO ALARM SET FOR 3:30AM!

3:30AM is REALLY DAMN EARLY! You know, in case you didn’t know that. And not only that but since it was 3:30AM(!!) I kept hitting the SNOOZE button instead of the SHUT THE HELL UP button and it might have gone off three times. And I couldn’t just TURN THE DAMN THING OFF because… it wasn’t actually THERE in the menu to turn off!

Ben said something at that point that involved my phone and an outlet on the southern region of my body that was not nice and I can not mention here.

That was a really long day.

Then, at one point that day I started my Netflix app to show something to Cassidy and she was all HA! YEAH, RIGHT! CHEAT ON ME WITH THAT GLOWEY PIECE OF CRAP ALARM CLOCK! NO NETFLIX FOR YOU!


Thursday: THERE IT IS! 3:30AM ALARM.


I was seriously about .184 seconds away from throwing it against the wall. Instead I just took a deep breath and turned the phone completely off so it wouldn’t go off again. And so Ben would not perform the act I talked about earlier involving my southern region.

I synced her for the first time in a week today. You’d think that after, like, Monday I’d have done that but that’s what a person WHO HAD GOTTEN SOME SLEEP would do and I was not that person. Since then, Netflix is like OKAY FINE I guess we’ll work.

If for some reason though you see a mushroom cloud over the Bay Area at around 3:30AM tomorrow? It will be safe to assume that it’s Ben’s head exploding.

Also, I will admit freely, the reason I didn’t actually throw it against the wall is because if I did it would make it somewhat difficult to feed my Tiny Wings addiction.

<3 LOVE!

Oh you silly tiny winged bird, how I love you. Love you enough to forget about the fact that I haven’t gotten more than four hours of sleep in FOUR DAYS.

Four. Days.


13 thoughts on “I’m not asleep… but that doesn’t mean I’m awake.

  1. Wow… Sounds like quite a saga. Hopefully your iPhone will go back to being the wonderful little piece of technology that you love now. Crossing my fingers for you!

    It’s my experience that Apple products throw temper tantrums every now and again. Like how several years ago my 1st Gen iPod Nano decided to start ringing an alarm (when I wasn’t even aware it could make sound without headphones plugged in) every day at 2am and nothing I did short of factory resetting it could make it stop.

  2. hehehe.. the games people get addicted to..

    I’m glad you guys could make up. It’s always so awkward trying to stay friends with both sides, though if push came to shove I’d totally side with you…

    … yeah…. i mean yeah!!

  3. I had an original iPhone for a few months before a spilled beer cut our blossoming relationship short and I’ve been using a Blackberry ever since. I’ve never had an issue with the clock or alarms on my Blackberry (except that damn AM/PM thing I tend to mess up a lot) but there are other kinks. Currently my Curve 8520 doesn’t like to be set down and will reset if you do it improperly. Stupid battery. All phones have their little quirks, the key is to suffer through them without stabbing yourself in the face until they come out with a newer one that costs more and will give us all new reasons to beg for death.

  4. Ouch. I would be freaking out if my phone went whacky like that. Does Apple or other iPhone owners have any suggestions for getting the damn thing to go off when it’s supposed to?

    1. I haven’t been able to find anything online for this particular problem. I deleted ALL alarms and am going to give it a day or two and see how things go.

  5. Oh my goodness I would have nearly died. I rely on my phone for an alarm too. Mind you I don’t have a super cool smart phone but I still would have gone batsh*t insane nonetheless.


    Also, 3:30 am…for the gym??? YOU ARE HARDCORE!!! I have a hard time getting up at 5:30 to get my pump on!

    1. HELLZ NO! I was going to do a 15 or 20 minute HIIT Turbo Fire routing in my living room. Probably in my PJs. I had REALLY GOOD INTENTIONS!


    *insane laughter*



    I have officially lost my mind.

  8. I would greatly appreciate it if you figure out a fix for this, to let me know about it. I live in Pennsylvania and ever since stupid daylight savings (really, earth, why do we need to save daylight anyway?) my alarm has gone off an hour early without fail. I just set it an hour ahead. Like, I have to get up at 7:45 so I set the alarm for 8:45. Hasn’t failed me yet, however there’s going to come a day where my dear iphone 4 is going to decide to start alarming at the CORRECT time, then I will be an hour late! GAH! FIX!

    1. I finally ended up deleting ALL the alarms, waited a day, synced the phone the re-added the alarms and they are all working now. Maybe try that? No promises though!

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