Treat please.

Breakfast @ 6:30AM: I need to work more protein into breakfast. Even if it means getting up earlier to cook something at home. I don’t WANT to do that though. When I start P90x I want to start having a Shakeology before I leave the house or on the way to work. That’s 17 grams of protein, 17 of carbs and only 150 calories! I also forgot flax seed meal AND my vitamin today. DOH!

1/3 cup of Danon Light & Fit Vanilla Yogurt
1/2 Fuji Apple
1/2 cup Puffins Peanut Butter Cereal

Calories: 168
Carbs: 20
Fat: 1
Protein: 4

6:30am (by

Snack @ 9:30AM: I forot to take a shot before I ate it! DOH! I’m new to this! I’m sure I’ll start to remember in no time! 🙂

5 Ellie Krieger lemon shrimp
1/4 cup Ellie Krieger Soup cream & Chives Smashed Potatos

It’s the circle of life, and it moves us all.

Today Cassidy and I spent an hour upstairs in my bathroom playing in my makeup. Her first school dance was tonight. Halloween. She went as Alice Cullen. The good vampire. The strong girl that is smart and funny and cute. The one girl in that entire silly make believe world that I’d actually WANT my daughter to look up to. She doesn’t look up to the brooding, melancholy girl that gets the guy at the end. She wants to be the one that is nice to everybody. That thinks about other people and what they want instead of her own needs.

This is the first time I’ve ever let her wear eyeshadow. And lipstick. And eyeliner. With glitter. We giggled as I curled her hair in just the right way and laughed uncontrollably when she smiled a wide grin into the mirror only to discover that she had red lipstick all over her teeth.

These fleeting little milestones that pass us by so quickly. I guess you could say that tonight she took a big step towards becoming her grown up self. The one that wears red lipstick and dances. With boys.

An hour later I found out that my grandma isn’t going to make it through the night. The grandma that used to let me dress up in her expensive clothes and dance around her fancy house. That drove me across the country just so I could see it. That taught me how to swim. Taught me how not to fall out of a hammock. That paid me a penny per acorn that I picked up off her driveway. The woman that wore the pants. That taught me that you are never too old to learn and it’s never too hard to try.

I love you, grandma. Forever.


Today I:

  • Got up
  • Went downstairs to spend cuddle time with Ben. He’s having to sleep downstairs on the futon because his back can’t take the soft bed (he has a herniated disk that’s healing) and my princess skeletal system can’t take the hard futon. It both sucks HORRIBLY and rocks HARDCORE at the same time because I get the whole memory foamed, pillow topped, California kind bed ALL TO MYSELF… but I have the bed all to myself. I miss cuddles. And waking up and listening to him breathe. And kisses in the morning. And his warm body.
  • Did my first TurboJam session.
  • Thought I was GOING TO FUCKING DIE.
  • Drank some of the Shakeology sample that Julie sent me and LIKED IT.
  • Showered. TurboJam makes you SMELLY.
  • Shopped at Nob Hill. They have AWESOME produce.
  • Tried to get Ben’s prescription at CVS. Failed.
  • Shopped at Safeway to get all of the stuff that was way overpriced at Nob Hill. By the way, I FINALLY found where they hide the Tahini at Safeway: with the peanut butter!
  • Spent 45 minutes putting all the groceries away. Seriously, we filled up the M3 TO THE TOP. We should have taken the truck.
  • Made some turkey and provolone sandwiched for lunch. NOM!
  • Went to Home Depot to pick up some topsoil to fill in the area in the front yard that used to have ugly rocks that I decided HAD TO BE DEALT WITH when I was mowing the lawn yesterday (the ones in between the yard and sidewalk here). I just couldn’t take them anymore.
  • Changed into my yard work clothes.
  • Filled in the area with top soil.
  • Changed back into clothes that are appropriate for public wear.
  • Went to Target to buy a scale and a heart rate monitor/calorie counter.
  • Went to PetSmart and bought 100 pounds of various food products for the zoo and tried to buy a dog door for the sliding glass doors but they all go to 81 inches and our door is 94.5 inches.
  • Came home and put all 100 pounds of food into the containers.
  • Started turkey chili.
  • Started laundry.
  • Cleaned our bedroom.
  • DIED!

I wanted to talk about TurboJam and how it completely kicked my ass in a really good way but I’m so exhausted I just want to curl up and cry while watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. It gets me EVER WEEK.

I’m also going to eat a sugar free popsicle.

Then I’m going to SLEEP.


TurboJam really is awesome though and I’ll get into all of my new motivation and drive to get health tomorrow. Julie has totally motivated me to get my ass into shape. Julie, can I link your new site yet? Because seriously?! MOTIVATED ME!

Till tomorrow!