I had to go to campus today to get my annual TB test. If you work for the hospital you have to have one every year. It’s some kind of Supreme Bullshit Rule handed down by some Supreme Bullshit Hospital Ruler. The thing is, I DON’T WORK AT THE HOSPITAL! I don’t even work FOR the hospital, I work for the PHYSICIANS but apparently they’re all totally against that SEMANTICS stuff and are all pissy and threaten to withhold your paycheck if you don’t have the test done. Normally with something like this I’d not get it in protest of The Supreme LAMENESS but when they threaten to take away my money I fold like *insert witty folding thing here*. I work about a mile off campus and the only time I ever set foot in the hospital is for my annual TB test!

The good thing (to me, I guess this really depends on how much you hate blood) is that they just draw blood now instead of the normal prick that you have to have checked again within three days. But they take THREE VIALS of blood for ONE TB test?! I really don’t think so. I’m pretty sure they are testing for drugs too but unless they look down on quadruple doses of Tylanol Sinus I’m pretty sure I’m okay in that department.

A few months ago they had a fleet of nurses come to our off site building to administer flu shots. I was here that day but REALLY busy and the line was REALLY long and by the time I remembered to head over, they had already packed up. So when I was there today the Occupational Health Nurse Nazi screamed:

Me: It’s FEBRUARY! I think that flu season is pretty much over.
NN: You have to have a flu shot.
NN: You have to have a flu shot.
Me: February.
NN: Flu shot.
Me: I don’t want it.
NN: You don’t WANT IT?!
Me: I would like to NOT have the flu shot. Isn’t there some kind of paperwork I can fill out to NOT have the it? Certainly you can’t FORCE somebody to take a flu shot.
NN: You have to have a valid medical reason or a religious belief against medicine, use of animal products or…
Me: Yeah, I have that, I want to not get the shot because of the animal thing.
NN: *sigh* Fine. You’ll have to fill out this paperwork.
NN: *pulls out a fucking EPIC NOVEL of paperwork so thick the staple hardly sticks through the back*
Me: Are you serious?
NN: *looks at me*
Me: Fine, I’ll just get the shot.
NN: There is still paperwork you have to fill out.
Me: I’d like to do whatever requires me to do the least amount of paperwork.

Had I actually been thinking I’d have double checked WHO would be giving me that shot. Turns out, it was the Nurse Nazi. And it hurt. And the slight smile as she shoved the plunger down a little bit faster than necessary gave her away, she enjoyed it. Also, I’d have remembered that last year I had that bastard shot and I got so sick that I missed an entire week of work and wrote out my last will and testament because I was certain such agony could only be caused by a DEATH PLAGUE.

When I got back to my office this was the exchange via google chat:

me: Motherfuckers made me get the flu vaccine too.
well, although it hurts like a mofo, maybe it will help you
Sent at 1:58 PM on Thursday
me: Help me be PISSED!
Benjamin: heh
me: I don’t have the flu. I have a sinus headache!
Benjamin: well
you don’t know exactly what you have
(to be objective)
you’re guessing
(dr hirsch)
me: If I get sick now I’m going to go down there and vomit on the carpet in occupations health’s office.
Benjamin:: glad you’re taking this well
me: 🙂

8 thoughts on “It. Is. FEBRUARY.

  1. LOL, I totally got sick this year after recieving my flu shot, but it was a rebout of bronchitus left over from july.

  2. Somehow I think the vomit gift would not be well received. lol! Hopefully you won’t get terribly sick from the shot.

    When I worked as a server, we had to get annual TB shots too and that really sucked. Bleh.

  3. That flu shot thing is crazy. I mean, I think flu shots are a valid form of protection for people who interact with sick people or kids or whatever… since I’m a teacher, I get a flu shot every year so that I don’t get sick from the small germ villages aka kids. But I don’t think it should ever be required!

  4. hahahahaha! thank you for the Monday morning laugh. I’d go vomit all over her carpet too!!

    I’ve never had the flu shot, but every year my mum insists I MUST. still haven’t got around to it…

    evil nurse…

  5. That is so crazy. But, I had to get a shot at Freshman Orientation this year because it wasn’t file whether or not I’d ever had it done. And, I’ve never had a flu shot. It’s ridiculous that you didn’t really have a choice. =\

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