Normal in what sense?

So I have put off writing about this for over two weeks because as soon as you mention the most trivial TMI/personal info situation on the internet not only do you get a bunch of fun hate mail, blog posts written about you and 5,978 new links to your site.. but who wants to read about poop? If you make it to the next paragraph, I’ll assume that YOU DO. So when you try to point that snarky finger at me, I’ll just remind you of that. You totally WANTED to read about poop.

I figure that 99.9% of my family members have made it to this paragraph because if there’s one thing us Reids are good at, it’s talking about poop. I don’t think I’ve ever attended a family function where the frequency, consistency or peculiar potent nature of another’s butt bombs have NOT come up. It took me almost four hours of the first 8 hour car drive to my dad’s house to somehow work it gracefully into conversation to warn Ben before we got there.

Ben: So then I said, “Sure, I’d love some more iced tea and…”
Me: My family talks about poop!
Ben: Uhhhhh…
Me: My family. Sometimes they DO THINGS. Like fart. At the dinner table. And then somebody brings it up. Poop.
Ben: At the dinner table?
Me: Just seriously, if my dad asks you to pull his finger, don’t. Okay?
Ben: I don’t see your dad doing that.
Me: Yeah… Just, I warned you.

It took two days. Almost. While making breakfast on the second day we were there, while Ben watched my dad make his spectacular rosemary potatoes he leaned over, looked at me very seriously and said it:

Dad: Pull my finger.
Me: NO!
Dad: Too late!
Me: *looks at Ben* I’m so sorry.

So whatever. Everybody Poops. I’ve had this sinus headache for a solid week now. It started last Monday. I’m four days into a 10 day cycle of Amoxacylin (which my mom freaked out about… “CIPRO! I told you to get CIPRO!”) and I still have this problem. Every time I have a solid bowel movement, I get this EXCRUCIATING pain in my sinus cavity. Like, drop me to the floor, tears in the eyes, moaning, almost throwing up kinda pain.

WebMD was really helpful and told me that I have brain tumors. YAY! I mean, it would explain a lot. Like my obsessive compulsion to have all the cans in the pantry rowed up and facing out and organized into food groups. And why I like the color pink so much. And why think the sunflower in the front yard is stalking me.

Seriously though, I’ve never had this problem before. But I’ve never had a sinus infection before either. Is this a normal occurrence for them? I’ve not been able to turn up much on google other than the fatalistic WebMD search. I’m hoping somebody out there says that, yes you fool, it’s normal and it will go away and you’ll look back on this in a week after having received the 17th hate mail letter telling you what whack jobs your family are and laugh about your poop issue.

If nothing else, at least I’ll have an interesting story to share at the next family gathering.

10 thoughts on “Normal in what sense?

  1. Yah its ok, My family talks about poop too! and they fart all over the place, and talk about sex and other gross things at the dinner table. I told my bf straight up about it and he didnt care cause he is the same way ahh love! Oh yes webMD, i dont exactly trust that website, i went to look up why my eyes were extremely watery and it brought up genital warts WTF it told me the same thing for removing a ingrown hair. weird weird website, i will just ask my dr haha

  2. Yeah, I wasn’t buying into what WebMD said at all. This is a sinus headache 110%… I just want it to GO AWAY already. It knocks me on my ass night after night and I’m just sick of it.

    After working over time today, then going to Back To School Night for Cassidy, I think I’ll head over to Urgent Care and kick some asses into giving me something better than what they prescribed the first time which, after 5 days, is clearly not working.

  3. Holy Cow after 5 days of meds you are still not better? No wonder your head hurts when you poop. I mean honestly. Your head is probably thinking you have resorted to trying to poop out the sinus blockage.

    I’d love to say you are “normal” but that’s a stretch. I’ll go with my old favorite and what I plan on using on Sydney many, many times in the future….

    If nothing is bleeding then you’ll be alright…eventually!

  4. [quote comment=”39141″]I’d love to say you are “normal” but that’s a stretch.[/quote]

    hahhaha Best. Quote. Ever! 😉

    I’ve popped Tylenol Sinus today like clockwork. Four hours apart, to the second. That seems to be helping… some. There is a slight pain up there but I was able to “go” today without laying on the couch for two hours afterwards pissed off at myself that I ate solid food.

  5. I don’t think I’ve ever felt pain that bad, but I’ve felt some mild pain when I’ve had a sinus infection and I have to go to the bathroom. I think it’s just the pressure.

    Everytime my boyfriends family sits down to eat, the subject of poop always comes up.

  6. Peter’s family never talks about poop or anything else gross like that. No, they talk about civilized things like the stock market and US History… Good times!

  7. Never?! You’ve never had to pull a finger?!

    Also, my dad called last night and tried to deny the finger pulling incident but I think that WE KNOW THE TRUTH! 😉

  8. No… I cannot even imaging anyone in his family doing such a thing – maybe one of his nephews.

    Oh, yes. I can’t vouch for you on the night in question, but I’ve definitely seen it on other occasions!

  9. lol, my family is just gross in general. (Not like.. dirty gross. lol.) Anything is fair game. I mean, my aunts nickname is Marto la farto. (Serious.)

    Anyway, your poo-poo problem is probably just pressure from the sinus infection. Pooping is like giving birth (to solid waste! woot. lol.) and you know how much pressure THAT is. 😀 I hope you feel better soon, though!

  10. “Peter’s family never talks about poop or anything else gross like that. No, they talk about civilized things like the stock market and US History… Good times!”

    Sarah, how boring for Peter’s old family. But take heart, he can get his “grossness” fix when he is with us.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *