OMGHI! I’m like, alive and stuff. Barely. Silly girls. 😉
Ummm, I haven’t really blogged because I’m just… ummm… I’m going through stuff that I’m not really sure how to express yet. I’m a thinker. I think everything to death, dig it back up, resuscitate it, then think it back down again.
After many months of struggling physically with out of control symptoms Ben finally kicked me in the ass and I made an appointment to get to the gynecologist on Monday. I was given a blood test and on Tuesday the doctor called to confirm what we were already 98% sure of: I have PCOS.
I’m pretty much a text book case and when I first mentioned it to Ben and he read about it he was like, OMG! This is SO YOU! And it is. And the thing is, I see this as both a blessing and a curse.
Blessing: Relief. Like, now. The symptoms are treatable and I’ve been given a different kind of birth control to take and the doctor is sure that I’ll feel better within the next few weeks. This is good. For me and Ben and anybody else that has to deal with me on a daily basis because when you are that hurting PHYSICALLY, it doesn’t take long to start effecting you MENTALLY as well. It was hard on me and it was hard on Ben to have to deal with me and now, that can change. And that is good.
Curse: I am worried about infertility. In very simple layman’s terms, I ovulate about four times a year. I have a period that often. So while most women have twelve chances a year to get pregnant, I have four.
We aren’t planning on having kids tomorrow. Or even trying anytime soon. But I do want kids. Badly. And I always just assumed that since when I was 19 I got pregnant while ON THE PILL, I’d have no problem in the future. Working where I do and seeing how much women have to go through and how REALLY REALLY EXPENSIVE it is for any kind of infertility treatment… it’s just been a lot of thinking.
But for now I really need to focus on the fact that SOON all of these ridiculous symptoms that I’ve been going through for months and months are going to subside and I’ll be back to normal. Well, as normal as I can be. Which lets face it, ain’t normal at all. Even on a good day. But I think now the rate at which Ben shoves his foot up my ass to remind me how NOT normal I am will decrease. Maybe. 😀
SO THERE! I’m alive AND I’ve blogged AND I have another half written about the autocross and I’ll try not to take over a week to post again. SO THERE!