An open letter

Dear Hollywood Starlets,

Please eat.

I have an almost 9 year old daughter and it kills me every time we see you on the TV and you look emaciated and high. I want to invite you to dinner and cook you a big steak and feed it to you and pat your head and tell you it’s going to be okay. It’s OKAY to eat.

Cassidy has friends at school who already count calories and skip lunch. This started LAST YEAR in THIRD GRADE. These girls worship you. And I know that your first response to this is going to be “I didn’t ASK to be a role model” but please kindly shove those words up your ass. I’m sure they’ll come out during your next colon cleansing and I swear, words are very low cal/low carb.

So you didn’t VERBALLY ask to be a role model. You DID ask me to go see your last movie, buy your posters, your music, your entire clothing line, your perfume, your book, your dolls, your energy drink, your makeup line, and whatever other products you’re being paid to push this week. Little girls like my daughter pay for the alcohol, cocaine and laxatives you swallowed for dinner last night so please, for me, just take a few minutes tomorrow and squeeze a meal in between cigarette breaks and flashing your vagina to cameras. And I don’t mean four grapes. I mean A MEAL, something that contains all the food groups. And no, Redbull is not on any part of the triangle.

A concerned mother,

P.S. – I’d like point out that Miley Cyrus is excluded from this letter. AT LAST, a role model I can stand behind! The music makes me somewhat homicidal when I’m forced to listen to it in the car but still, HOW FREAKING CUTE IS MILEY!?

17 thoughts on “An open letter

  1. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!! I couldnt have said it all better myself, minus the daughter part cause well i dont have a daughter yet, but i do have very young impresionable nieces and nephews and god children!

  2. Hopefully Miley doesn’t pull a Lindsay on us a few years from now… because how cute was Lindsay when she was on The Parent Trap?

  3. That’s true, I think they look for those type of people… at least the current, or very recent, Disney stars, not the ones from the New Mickey Mouse Club!

  4. Though I do have a problem with the anorexic look (who is attracted to a sack full of antlers?), I think the more pressing problem is the fact they’re also all a bunch of alcoholic, no-self-esteem-having, whores.

    I’m not attracted to that, either.

  5. You should really send that. I fully agree with what you wrote – and I’m telling you; guys are not the ones that want girls that skinny! That’s all girls’ doing.

    I’ve had this discussion many times. 😉

  6. Much like guys thinking that girls dress for them, when in reality we dress for other girls. Not to attract them, just so they think we’re fashionable, etc. At least a lot of the people I know do!

  7. You’re right! Why do you do that? If you just dressed for us? Think of how much less clothes you’d have to wear at once 😀

  8. ^hahah I think that Ben would SO agree with that.

    I do admit that girls like to dress up because of other girls.. BUT! I work with 300 women and today wore cut off jeans, a Gwen Stefani (STOP JUDGING ME!) tshirt, Chucks and no makeup while the rest of my coworkers were mostly in nicer jeans, heals and nice tops.

    But around My Girls, I usually put on something nice and do up the hair and makeup. I think because THEY all do and I want to look nice if they do too.

  9. Well, exactly. Of course you have your dress down days. But when you dress up it’s usually for the girls. Because to please a guy all you have to do is wear a low-cut shirt and short shorts, or some other such thing. But how you do it matters to the girls! 🙂

    Although, oddly enough, Peter actually finds it sexy when I wear collared shirts. So that’s just weird!

  10. Damn, why did I subscribe to this entry? 😀

    Honestly? I love, love, love when a woman dresses nice, as in quality clothes and the appropriate accessories. I love it even more when a woman dresses well and still manages to keep her own style going on. The “less clothes” thing was simply a dirty old man thing for me to chime in with. 😉

  11. [quote comment=”36690″]Damn, why did I subscribe to this entry? :D[/quote]

    It’s my evil scheme. I have it set to automatically subscribe unless you tell it not too. It’s a trap! And you fell for it!

  12. Yeah, I fell for it too!

    I actually hate collared shirts. Well, actually I love the way they look, I just can’t stand to wear them. It bugs my neck. I’m more of a v-neck kind of girl. But maybe that’s why Peter likes them. Maybe he’d find v-necks hot if I didn’t wear them so much.

  13. At least it says, “welcome back tesco” 😉

    I think it’s the whole unbuttoning thing that rules about the collar shirts. Very sexy look.

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