They are having an “Ice Cream Social” at work today for some reason. Yesterday I asked what brand/flavor it would be so that I could check the ingredients prior to getting some and they said it would be the little cups. So I assumed it was the old fashioned kind that come with the little wood “spoon”. So I just verify that I can see the ingredients first and they say, “NO problem!”

Today I practically skip over to the lunch room to get my ice cream and… they are ice cream sandwiches. The big ones where the thick, creamy ice cream is sandwiched between two oversized chocolate/chocolate chip cookies. Double chocolata wrapped around ice cream. I fucking hate stupid ass wheat and is motherfucking stupid stupidness.

And it wouldn’t be do bad if THIS MORNING hadn’t been the morning that I found out, “SURPRISE! Starbucks MOCHA is NOT gluten free!” Drinks with Mocha or chocolate chips are the only NON gluten-free drinks they have. So I go to have my favorite drink (Mocha Frap) for the first time this season and I get sick for fucking HOURS and HOURS.

And I ate something between Sunday night and yesterday and I have hives all up and down my hands and arms. But I don’t know WHAT it is that gave them to me. I just have them.

I’m seriously so OVER this wheat thing. I feel like a a big part of my life has been taken away. I’m suddenly not allowed to eat all my favorite foods and I’m past the point where I’m happy I feel good and at a point where I’m just really fucking pissed off this is happening to me. Pissed off that I don’t know if I’m bloated because I’m PMS-ey or bloated because that little wheat bastard made into something I ate. I can’t READ MY OWN BODY anymore and I DON’T LIKE IT. I feel like I have no freaking control over what’s going on. I mean, I can control it to a point. I can TRY and make sure no wheat makes it in but there will NEVER be a 100% guarantee. At any point in time I can go from being fine to sick and bloated and running to the bathroom and horrendous headache and RASHES and just… WHATEVER.

I’m just pissed off…

3 thoughts on “Pissed.

  1. Oi I know the feeling, but luckily not on the same level. Last year or so, my body just decided I could no longer eat many things that don’t link together. Its become insanely sensetive to the normal things: dairy, caffeine.. but then has tossed in apples and pears (but other fruits are ok). Not pineapple, but only some days. Some days oatmeal is ok, sometimes its death. Since there isnt much of a clear link, its simply been labeled “IBS” which is short for “Ive got no effin idea”. Thanks doc! LOL.

    But so I know that feeling.. where youre like ok, will breakfast rock this morning or will I be stuck on a toilet for 4 hours, regardless of the fact I ate it yesterday and was ok?

  2. I was telling Kevin about this and he was equally amazed. He’s like what the heck can she eat? I said well she lives in Silicon Valley so you know she has options but uh hello cake? We both agree that this sucks major donkey balls and isn’t fair.

    If I were to give up wheat I’d wither away. It’s all that I love. I guess I’d live on apples and cucumbers or something equally as dull.

    Please tell me you were mega biotch of the century to everyone who you saw chowing down on one of those ice cream sandwiches.

  3. hahah Well, I wanted to systematically take them all out… but I just put my headphones on and tried to ignore them. The one’s that really get to me are the one’s who are all, “Why don’t you have ice cream?!” I mean, OBVIOUSLY there was ice cream. Managers were walking around handing the damn things out! If you see somebody that doesn’t have one, when everybody else around does, MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A REASON.

    And as far as what I eat.. Well, I just have to learn what my body can and can’t take. The only type of food that’s really ‘out’ is Chinese since EVERYTHING is cooked in soy sauce and it’s one of those whacky things that contains wheat. If we go to Mexican food, I get fajitas with corn tortillas, last night we had italian so I had shrimp over rice with a light lemon sauce. But not having the fresh, hot bread they bring out with herb butter was REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hard.

    It’s a LOT of reading labels and learning where wheat is hidden and research online. And then after all that it’s trial and error. Learning what will set me off and what won’t.

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