Once again. I told Cassidy that I’d call her tonight to see how she is. Called at 3:30 and she wasn’t with her dad. He works out of the garage at home so I’m not sure where she was but (big surprise) she wasn’t with him. I told him to have her call me back when he saw her next.
8:00PM – No call. Called again. Left message.
9:00PM – No call.
I can not go through this again. I won’t. Before I was weak and stupid and I thought I owed him time with her. I am not that person anymore. I’m the person that’s been hardened by having to mend a wounded seven-year-old heart after she doesn’t receive a phone call, a letter, any form of acknowledgement for six month at a time from her father. I’m not beyond driving 500 miles in a night to go get her.
I will not do it. I don’t have to do it. I’m trying to be the ‘better person’ by volunteering this month and a half once again this summer, but I will not be the person that lets her down. It’s very important to me that I keep my word about things like this because I’ve seen first hand what HIM doing it to her OVER AND OVER AND OVER again has done to her emotionally.
Knowing that I wasn’t able to talk to her tonight when I TOLD her I would is… *insert worst pain you’ve ever felt here*