Hives: Day 74

Skin test.

Turns out I’m allergic to wheat. This might not even be what’s causing the hives but the only way to really find out is to cut wheat out of my diet, totally, for three weeks. Then I can reintroduce it and see if there’s a reaction. Reading through some websites quickly when I got home, this could explain A LOT. The tummy problems, tired rundown feeling at completely random times, hives…

So I’m gonna start Sunday with the wheat free diet. I had NO IDEA there was wheat in so may food products. It’s in EVERYTHING. It’s basically an Atkins diet. I’ve NEVER been fond of the Atkins diet because I like my heart and I don’t want it to kill me at 50. Skinny but dead doesn’t seem like a wonderful alternative to a tad chubby and alive to me.

Why Sunday, you ask? Because Saturday we are going to Tyrolean Inn and I HAVE to eat the yummy food

This week at work has been long and hard. The Boss is out of town so covering for him, helping another team catch up with work they are behind on, having do deal with co-workers who have the work ethic of a retarded monkey and the fact that one of my FAVORITE co-workers last day is tomorrow has made me REALLY want for Friday to just. get. here. already. It really sucks that I can’t post work related stuff here because man, the comic relief…

Anyway, I’m exhausted so I’m off to give Ben puppy dog eye’s to 1) Convince him to come crawl into bed with me, 2) Let me have a kitten PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP?!? :mrgreen:

Trying not to fall apart.

Once again. I told Cassidy that I’d call her tonight to see how she is. Called at 3:30 and she wasn’t with her dad. He works out of the garage at home so I’m not sure where she was but (big surprise) she wasn’t with him. I told him to have her call me back when he saw her next.

8:00PM – No call. Called again. Left message.

9:00PM – No call.

I can not go through this again. I won’t. Before I was weak and stupid and I thought I owed him time with her. I am not that person anymore. I’m the person that’s been hardened by having to mend a wounded seven-year-old heart after she doesn’t receive a phone call, a letter, any form of acknowledgement for six month at a time from her father. I’m not beyond driving 500 miles in a night to go get her.

I will not do it. I don’t have to do it. I’m trying to be the ‘better person’ by volunteering this month and a half once again this summer, but I will not be the person that lets her down. It’s very important to me that I keep my word about things like this because I’ve seen first hand what HIM doing it to her OVER AND OVER AND OVER again has done to her emotionally.

Knowing that I wasn’t able to talk to her tonight when I TOLD her I would is… *insert worst pain you’ve ever felt here*

How to f’ing drive.

Kris Linquist wrote a little rant/article on his site entitled: How to f’ing drive.

I was nodding in agreement the entire time I read it and wondering how much work it would take to replace those ugly little ‘Airbag Safety’ stickers they put on sun visors these days with this article instead. Because GOOD LORD YOU PEOPLE NEED SOME INSTRUCTION.

He pretty much hit on all my major peeves except one and that is people who don’t use turn signals. They are there to USE people, not to make your corners clear or add to the beautiful esthetics of your car. So…

If you want in my lane, all you gotta do is TELL me. If you use the blinker, 99.5% of the time I’ll let you in. Hell, on days were the traffic is busy, I’ll let TWO people merge in front of me just because I’m a nice person like that.

You don’t need to honk, you don’t need to glare at me, you don’t need to try and squeeze your H2 into the 1.15 car lengths in front of me in heavy traffic that’s moving 2 MPH. I’ll LET YOU IN, ASSHAT. Just let me know you want over.

For almost two years now, I’ve tried to convince Ben to let me install a blow horn on the front of my car. He’s veto’d the idea, FORCEFULLY, because he said that I’ll “abuse it”. I have no idea what he’s talking about.

Anyway, go check out the rant. Even for those of you that don’t live in CA, these are common sense rules of the road that anybody should follow.

Love > Biology

Cassidy will be leaving to go to her biological fathers house for a month and a half on the 18th. As much as I try to not let this effect me, it does. And because of it I’ve been in a foul mood for about a week now. The kind of mood where I don’t want anybody else in the world to exist except for my family and a few close friends. So if I’ve blown you off or not responded to you or been generally bitchy, I’m sorry. I’ve been focusing my time and energy on Ben and Cassidy.

I had actually written a long rant about not getting paid child support for over two years and the fact that her father waited SIX MONTHS to call her after he saw her on Christmas but I realize that’s wasted energy. Just, wasted.

She is a very lucky girl because she has Ben in her life. Ben who gets her ready for school every day, and who makes sure her room is clean every night, and who can make her laugh with a SINGLE LOOK, and who bands with her to gang up and pick on me, and who takes the time to teach her math, and challenges her mind, and who encourages her creativity, and who expects her to be honest and trustworthy and disciplines her accordingly… but most of all who LOVES her. Loves her like she were his own child.

The kind of bond and love they share IS a father/daughter bond. I have people tell me all the time how very clear it is to an outsider that Ben is very special and very important to her.

Ben, we are BOTH so lucky to have you in our lives. I don’t tell you NEARLY enough how much your relationship with Cassidy means to me. The love, kindness and patience you’ve shown her over the last few years is extraordinary. When the teacher tells us how kind and big hearted she is, I know that most of that is NOT coming from me and my hot head. That is a quality attributed to you. Your influence over her and how her life will take shape and the kind of women she will become is something that is eternal and true and something that you should be very proud of.

You are a extraordinary man. Thank you.

God speaks to Lion: Kill nutcase.

Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God

KIEV (Reuters) – A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal’s enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.

“The man shouted ‘God will save me, if he exists’, lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,” the official said.

“A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.”

The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an “animal island” protected by thick concrete blocks.

I like my title better. heh

So Ben sent me the link and says:

Ben: *reading from a work email thread about it* How do you think the lion knew where his carotid artery was?
Me: DUH!! God told him!!

He PROVED His existance!! And apparently He thinks that Darwin was on to something…


The letter writer. In the flesh. When I took this picture Cassidy’s head turned 360 degrees and flesh burning acid shot out of her eyes and instantly burned my heart into a tiny pile of ash.

If her powers are that strong at 7.5, by 13 she’ll have long since burned away my soul, too. That could be good though, because that 2.87 seconds of guilt I felt for embarrassing her will be NON EXISTENT by then.



P.S. – She hid that letter REALLY well, I’m still looking. Thinking about sending her to my moms house for the night tomorrow and randsacking her room.

*shut up*