For Papa:

The cute hair. Tonight I did black first, but not NEARLY as much as last time, and then we topped it with pink. She wanted a lot of pink around the face though. I did it EXACTLY the way she wanted it this time and she loved it. πŸ™‚ She also loved that we have a bunch of pink left to play with on the weekends. πŸ˜‰

Cassidy Vampire

Push my button one more time.

I really, really, really tried. I kept my mouth closed all week last week. I tried to be nice. I tried to keep the peace. This morning I was just Not. In. The. Mood.

First push of the button:
*Freddy Cougar walks by*
Kat: I should have brought a camera today.
Me: I have one.
Kat: *attitude already* I KNOW. I meant MY OWN.
Me: *just not going to deal with it*
New Girl: Anna’s is digital. Very nice.
Kat: So?
New Girl: It’s digital. She can send you all the pictures or burn them to disk.
Kat: So? I’ll just drive to the store to get one later.
New Girl: *confused sounding* Okay.

Pushed again 10 minutes later:
*the new girl and I talk about dressing our kids up*
Me: I have a picture. I’ll send it to you.
Kat and The Avon Lady: I want to see.
Me: *sends it to all three*
New Girl: How cool! That came out really cool!
The Avon Lady: *laughing* She looks scarry but still cute!
Kat: That’s gross. I never let my kids dress up like that. That’s why I hate Halloween. People think vampires and demons are okay.
Me: *She just called Cassidy gross. Don’t over react. Just stay calm.* No, people relax and have fun and dress up and eat sweets and decorate and interact with each other.
Kat: Well, whatever. I would not let my kids dress up. We stay home and watch movies on Halloween.
Me: Your kids are 16 and 18.
Kat: I stopped taking them trick-or-treating when they were 5.
Me: *gives up*
New Girl: What?! I’ll take my kids trick-or-treating till they move out so I can get candy!
Me: *laughs* Ditto.

Last push of the button I was willing to deal with today:
*Freddy Cougar walk by again and Kat and she talk*
Freddy: You all decorated really cute! I love it.
Kat: Thanks!
Kat: *loudly* I TIRED to get everybody to wear orange pants and black shirts but I guess they didn’t want to. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to look cute all by myself.
Me: *bolts up in my chair knocking it back almost out of my cubicle*
Me: I am wearing a shirt with skulls and cross bones on it. Carolyn is in a PURPLE TAFFETA DRESS with white gloves and a freaking tiara. Michelle is wearing a sequined mask with gigantic purple feathers. And you are going to say YOU ARE THE ONLY CUTE ONE HERE because you are in pants and a shirt you’ve worn 100 times before!?!? Seriously, you’ve been telling us all week how much you hate Halloween and how you don’t want to decorate and you don’t want fake spiders around your cubicle and you don’t want to see any fake mice and refuse to help pay for any of it and, frankly, it’s getting pretty old and I’m tired of hearing it and I’d like you to decide if you are going to PARTICIPATE or NOT.
Kat: What’s your problem?
Me: *pops a gasket* I’m going to go get a drink.
New Girl: I’ll go with you.

She went outside with me. I had reached a boiling point that I didn’t want to cross inside in front or my co-workers. When I got back inside I told my boss I needed to talk to him alone and NOW. I’ve come to him with her attitude and snide comments before and he had a talk with her and things improved drastically for about two months. Over the last week however, it has declined to the point that I won’t even discuss work issues with her because she is too hard to deal with. This happens when her boyfriend or her husband or one of their lovers cause her drama. *rolls eyes 360 degrees*

This woman is 43 years old. 43!! And I’m not kidding when I say she has the social grace and skills of a PMSing 15 year old.

We Made a Plan


We have had SUCH a problem lately with Cassidy doing chores. Things as simple as feeding the cat and making sure she has water. And the cat dishes are in her bathroom which she’s in at least five times a day!! It’s been ongoing and we are all getting frustrated. Ben and I for having to tell her things three or more times a day and Cassidy for listening to us nag. So, after a lot of discussion Ben and I came up with an idea.

Today Cassidy and I went and got a whiteboard and some colored pens and set it up in her room. We broke the day into four sections 1) Morning before school, 2) Homework (right after school), 3) Daily Chores (between homework and 5:30PM, 4) Before Bed. There are things she has to do EVERY DAY and daily chores that change from day to day. As she gets these things done, she crosses them off.

So, now we had to have some kind of incentive to get all this stuff done and Ben and I both agreed that we should focus on positive reinforcement. So if she completes all tasks at the end of the day she gets 10 points. We had her make a list of items she wants and Ben and I assigned each item an amount of points and she gets to use them like money on those items. If she misses even ONE item, no points for the day. We’ll start with this approach and see how things go and change the system as we get it down better. I really hope this works because I really think that it will lead to a happier house for all of us. πŸ™‚

And for fun her list (which she can add to as she chooses):

70 Points:
Nemo Game for GameBoy Advance
A Diary
Mariah Carrey CD
Electronic Toothbrush
Electric Pencil Sharpner
140 Points:
Trip to Chuck E Cheeses
New Shoes
An Outfit (Top + Bottom)
240 Points:
TV Tuner Card for Computer
300 Points:
MP3 Player (iPod Shuffle)

Princess Vampire Cassidy

Vampire Cassidy

Photoshopped with one layer of ‘soft light’. Bigger untouched shot. The whole look came out really cool. She insisted on no blood or red on the face… thank goodness. Tonight was the nVidia Annual Halloween Bash. πŸ™‚

She didn’t like the hair. I ratted it and thought it came out looking awsome but she wanted “cute” black vampire hair. So I guess that’s the look we are going to try on Monday night. I’ll let you know how it turns out!!

P.S. – I had to wash her hair THREE times and all the black is still not out!!


A conversation I remember having now that I’ve posted and saw my ‘stupid ants’ post.

Sitting at our computers:
Ben: *snickers*
Me: What?
Ben: *laughs*
Me: WHAT?!
Ben: How do you spell marching?
Me: M-A-R-C-H-I-N-G
Ben: But how do YOU spell it?
Me: M-A-R-C-H-I-N-G (!!)
Ben: But if you BLOGGED it, how would you spell it?!
Me: I DON’T KNOW! WHY!? How did I spell it?
Ben: M-A-R-T-C-H-I-N-G.
Me: I did?!
Ben: *laughing at me* Yes, you did.
Me: *tries to think of a witty response*
Me: Oh, well… WHATEVER!
Ben: *laughs harder*

I always wish I could be one of those people who think of something pun-tastic to say at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately I’m not. But Ben is. And this often leaves me at the losing end of what could be a pun-ny conversation.

I need to work on this..

Perhaps I should write.

Yes, perhaps. Random jumping from topic to topic to follow. Please try to keep up.

Had appointment #2 with counselor #5 last Friday. I made a third appointment!! That’s farther than I’ve gotten with the rest. When I leave her office I feel lighter and more… me? The first appointment she told me to take off my shoes and get comfortable. I think better with my shoes off. That’s why I wear sandals 99% of the time. It’s a crazy thing so stop trying to understand it!! πŸ˜‰

Anyway, I’m going to try out some St. Johns Wart. She had a big fancy name for the depression that I have that I don’t remember. Basically, it’s like a hit or miss kinda thing. I have days that I’m fine. Functioning, happy, energetic, pain in the ass, etc. Then I have days where I want to crawl in bed, pull up he covers and disappear and these days NORMALLY happen during PMS. It’s the monthly Dark Period. If this doesn’t help by the next period I’m going to look into Sarafem. Having a uterus is SO overrated.

Also, there are a few whole bunch of issues from the Dark Marriage Days that I’ve never dealt with and need to so she wants me to talk. Talk, talk, talk, talk. (I know, TOTAL streath for me. HAR!) Get it out. Heal. Stop unloading it elsewhere in my life. Let go. MOVE. ON.

Next topic:

Ben wins the prize for “Most random Aflux comment” from his FIRST post to the blog. It said something about Muslims dragging people down and finished with The Serenity prayer. You know “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, etc.” Those of you who know my religious beliefs are getting the humor in this.

He deleted it. I’m sure that if we weren’t bound for hell before, we’ve just bought a one way ticket. But we can’t have the right wing folk spreading The Word here!! I have a *RWLMFPΓ’β€žΒ’ reputation to uphold!!

Topic switch again:

We have a cubicle decorating contest at work for Halloween and Christmas. I started out thinking this is fun then I remembered the 300 catty women. Halloween is Monday. It’s a good thing because the you’d not believe the drama sparked by pumpkins and spider webs… and orange pants.

Last one for now:

I really can’t wait for Halloween to be over. This layout has gotten ‘blah’. I’m thinking something more He Said/She Said-ish to get The Benjamin to post more. POST MAN, POST! πŸ˜‰

*Right Wing Liberal Media Fed PoserΓ’β€žΒ’

P.S. – Points and laughs at Bush.

I feel much better now that I have that out of my system.

They are martching.

The second day we lived here I decided to take a break from unpacking to avoid the drama of speaking in tongues and Ben having to commit me. Yes, it was that bad. I sat on the back patio on the lounge chair and listened to the sounds of our new neighborhood. A mower off in the distance, kids riding bikes down the street, the cars on Blossom Hill, Cameron farting. It was nice. Well, most of it was nice.

KC was exploring the yard. Sniffing everything, tasting the grass and acting generally skiddish at every noise she heard. She’s never been an outside cat. I was watching her when she suddenly became very still and her eyes got as big as milk saucers the way they do when she hears a can of tune opening. I looked up and there was a humming bird hovering about 25 feet from us. I sat very still and watched in awe as it sat there, mid air, perfectly still except the wings flapping so fast you couldn’t see them… then it flew about four feet from my face. It felt like it was so close that I could reach out and touch it but I stayed still. Then it flew the six feet over to KC and got about four feet from her and hovered there for a second. KC didn’t move a muscle.

When the bird was done scoping us out it flew over to my hibiscus plant and sucked all of the flowers dry. Then, after taking one last look at us, flew away… and KC went nuts. I don’t know if you’ve ever watched a declawed cat try to climb a fence but it’s quite a sight. A sad but funny moment. Like watching a stranger walk face first into a wall. I ran in the house and told Ben that we absolutely HAD to get a hummingbird feeder RIGHT NOW SO THE BIRD DOESN’T STARVE!

The next weekend Cameron and I were at Target picking up some stuff for the house and we looked at the feeders. They had some really nice ones. Beautiful actually. Like the Tara of Hummingbird feeders. (Shame on you all if you don’t know what Tara is.) I picked one out I really liked and put it in the cart and started to try and find the hummingbird food. There was none. We must have walked up and down the isle’s 5 times and there was no food there. Only feeders. This upset me. Being the rational person I am, I put the $15.00 hummingbird feeder back on the shelf amidst a rant about how stupid the Target corporation is and how COULD THEY sell feeders but no food and I wasn’t about to contribute to the stupidity… looking back now I think I might have been premenstrual.

A few days later I bought a $5.00 feeder at Safeway and told two employees how nice it was that they had FOOD to go with their feeders. I love Safeway.

The first few weeks the food went slowly but steadily. We saw hummingbirds out there every day feeding and hovering and checking things out. It was cool. Cassidy and I would sit out there after homework and watch them.

This week I haven’t seen a single one. I didn’t think this was odd because I think they migrate and figured that now that it’s getting cooler that maybe they had left for the season. But the food level was getting lower. It was going surprisingly fast actually but I didn’t really give it a lot of thought till today when I saw a bird fly up, check out the feeder and fly away without drinking any nectar. I went outside to check out the feeder and see what was going on and… It’s got ants. πŸ™ Lots and lots and lots of ants.

I remember reading on the Target feeders box that it was “ant proof”. I should have gotten the damn Target feeder. Stubbornness has a way of always biting my ass. Not in the good way I like but the bad way that Ben likes to point out and laugh at.

Stupid ants. I watched them for a bit wondering how exactly ANTS were drinking more than the birds did the first week. I don’t think they are drinking it. If you click the picture above you can see that the ant coming out of the feeder flower on the left is almost transparent because it’s full of nectar. It’s FILLED it’s back half with the liquid. I think they must be transporting it because all the ants coming to the feeder are small and black and all the ants leaving the feeder are fat and clear.

STUPID ANTS. They should know better than to mess with a crazy and premenstrual woman. This, my friends, is war.

Photoshop Perfection

This picture was not all that great to start out with but a few layers, some blurring, property manipulation, add a bit of rosiness to the cheeks and maybe a little pink to the lips… Photoshop is wonderful. I mean, if you can make a really bad makeup day look like this then ANYTHING is possible. It kinda ruins looking at a magazine because when you start to learn the tricks and tools you realize that probably nothing really is that beautiful…

Cheesy Poofs

Me: Hurry up and change clothes so you can get your homework done.
Me: Go figure.
Cassidy: Can I have chips?
Me: While you do homework?
Cassidy: Please?
Me: Okay, but I better not see ONE trace of cheese on your homework or ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE HOUSE.
Cassidy: Duh mom, I totally lick my fingers.

When the hell did she start talking like a 16 year old?!

(+10 bonus points for recognizing the food item in the title. There is a clue there. πŸ˜‰ AND GOOGLE IS CHEATING!!!)


Last Friday I decided it was time to go back to blond. I was scared that I’d end up having orange hair or something but I went in and bought one step up from the lightest blond and… it came out okay. Hmmm, I guess July and October are the months I feel the need to dye my hair. Interesting.

Gotta love the $8.00 hair job. heh