So wow. I got almost 3000 hits in two days. That’s just, wow. All from one plug. heh Renee must get a bazillion hits a day!! 😉

And on with the post:

Usually I’m a huge advocate for free speech. If you post a comment on my blog that does not necessarily agree with mine I’ll let it pass because your opinion is yours and has as much a right to be presented to the masses as my own. I actually LIKE when people have an opposing view because that means I get to learn something from you and hear about a topic from a point of view that is not my own. And although I might not agree with you, it’s never bad to know what the other side of the spectrum is thinking.

The only time I will make an exception to this rule is when somebody tries to attack my child or my boyfriend. Now I understand that a lot of you happened across my site because of the plug on Renee’s site. I mean, I generally average 3000 hits every 4 MONTHS not 2 DAYS!! This means that you all don’t know me as well as the people who normally read the blog and in an attempt to help you better understand the situation I posted about below I’m going to give you a very brief overview.

About two years ago I suffered a SEVERE bout of depression. Depression to the point that I almost just ceased to exist. I had no motivation, no faith, no feelings… I was in a very bad place. With the help of some medication and counseling I learned a lot about depression and what happens and how to respond to it when I see and feel it coming.

I’m not on medication anymore and I’ve learned how to deal with the feelings. That doesn’t mean I don’t get depressed, I have my days. I also understand that my depression has a HUGE effect on those around me. Ben in this instance. Ben has also learned a lot about it. He loves me and he’s been greatly affected by my depression. He has learned the best way to deal with it and to help me though it. When I said below that he’d “snap me back into reality” that’s what I meant. When I’m depressed, coddling me and petting me and telling me “it’s going to be okay honey” is NOT going to work.

what I need to hear is “get up and pull yourself together because this is NOT worth being depressed over”. And really, it’s not. A man found his children in the trunk dead last week. Another woman’s child got mauled to death by a dog after she locked him in the basement. A few weeks ago when Cassidy & her best friend “disappeared” when they decided to walk to a friends house we found her right away… two days later two best friends their age were killed by one of the girls father while playing together.

Cassidy is at her dads. Playing with Carrielee and having a blast. Swimming and riding bikes and having fun being a kid. I needed to get over it because I was really just letting the depression get the better of me.

what Ben said to me in his comment below is the truth. I wasted an entire night doing nothing and in my own world unreachable by those around me. Even the ones in the same room. Even the ones who sat on the couch WITH me for a bit trying to pull me out of the “bad place”. He wasn’t being “insensitive”. He was doing exactly what I’ve asked him to do when I’m in that “bad place”. I need to be kicked in the ass.

So the comment left on that last post was deleted. That goes against every belief I have when it comes to people commenting and expressing an opinion. But in this case, please understand that I won’t allow a personal attack on the man who loved me enough to stick through the darkest days of my life, who was only doing what I asked of him when these situations arrise, and who loves me enough to kick me in the ass knowing that I kick back… hard. 😉

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