Pray for Benjamin.

(Warning:In an attempt to help some other people fighting depression I’ve decided to be very open about my struggle with it. This post contains words like ‘sex’ and ‘hell’ (but no ‘shits’!!). You have been warned. (Daddy, I swear I’ve never had sex. EVER!! ;)).)

When I first started taking the Zoloft there were some minor side-effects. At first it made me REALLY tired so I had to take it at night. Then as it got into my system that stopped so I was then able to start taking it in the morning. And that was it. I was really relieved.

I’m now months into it and it’s become very apparent to me and to Ben that there is one other, often untalked about side-effect that I’m most certainly experiencing… A side-effect of the sexual kind. Like any word containing the letter s, e or x in it that order have dropped completely out of my life.

I’m 26 years old. Not even THINKING about it is just not right. And poor Ben… he’s a male you know, so he thinks about it. SO I had an appointment today to see what can be done about the s, e and the x.

I have to stop taking the Zoloft. The Dr is going to do some hormone testing that should have been done before I even started taking the damn things in the first place. So, as of tomorrow, I’m off the Zoloft. I have to be off of it for at least a week before the test and longer before I can starte taking a new drug. I’m off the Zoloft. OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THIS DOCTOR THINKING TAKING ME OFF THE ZOLOFT.

*startes to shake a little*

Work out she says. Gets lots of sleep she says. Do anything I can to produce extra ceratonin she says. Well, I need the Zoloft to sleep, I need the Zoloft for motivation to work out, I need the Zoloft to BREATHE!

It’s only a week. I can do a week right! RIGHT!?

But hey, the plus side is that, you know… there will be s’s, e’s and x’s.


8 thoughts on “Pray for Benjamin.

  1. That is one of the biggest side-effects I’ve heard about with Zoloft.. I’m surprised your doctor didn’t emphasize this to you. It doesn’t effect EVERYONE… but it does effect many. I had a boyfriend on Zoloft and it killed his labido and I wasn’t very happy with that. He warned me about it too but of course his anxiety/well-being were more important. I hope you guys find a med that works better for you. Hopefully this will also help that “plateau” too.

  2. He actually did warn me about it. But as I sat there listening to him, a very healthy, very ‘active’ person.. I just couln’t fathom NOT being that way.

    It’s such an odd feeling… I’m not even sure how to describe it and have it make sense. It’s like, I think about it, and I think Ben is damn hot, but the PHYSICAL feeling just isn’t there.

    It feels like I’m broken.

  3. I hope you mind me commenting on this. I sorta experienced the same thing a few years ago,battled with a bout of depression. Zoloft made me feel like a freaking zombie and forget about sex. I was 20,athletic,healthy..just a normal 20 year old with no sex drive… I talked to my Dr and he switched my meds to Celexa. Night and day difference!! I felt like myself and was even taken off it after only a few months. I hope you are able to find something that works for you,so that you are able to feel like yourself in every aspect of your life. I haven’t been on anything for 5 years now and couldn’t be happier.

  4. Yeah, the ultimate goal is to just FEEL normal.

    I understand though that I have a chemical imbalance and I also unserstand that there might not be a way to naturally cure that. I’m not against taking something that gives me the will to get out of bed in the morning…

    I just refuse to deal with side effects like the one I was dealing with.

  5. Well I hope you two are back to “normal” soon and you find a med that works for you. Unfortunately I think it’s pretty common to have to “trial” a few different meds before finding the one that is right for “you”. I also agree Anna as much as I am a NO PILL taker, that their are some with a chemical imbalance that may have to take these meds for life to fuction on what the rest of us would consider a normal level. I have a few family members that could certainly use them! Seriously though, it’s not like your addicted to valium or something that makes you pretty spacey. Besides you are doing all the right things with counseling. Good luck I hope your feeling better real soon!!!

  6. That must be really hard on you and on Ben. Thank goodness you have a great boyfriend that will stand by you and help you get through this. I hope that the week has gone by fast. Stay strong and keep us updated. Hopefully they will find the right medicine ASAP so you can get back to being you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *