I don’t know what it is about sitting in an airport bar that causes me to feel the need to write. This time it’s a coffee bar, but still. I sit and watch the people frantically walking by, making up back stories for all of them. That old couple is headed to see their grandkids for Spring Break. That hipster is on his way to an interview for a job he hates but will look good on LinkedIn. That family is clearly at the beginning of their vacation to someplace exciting because the kids are still behaving and the parents don’t have regret written all over their faces yet. That lady just really has to pee.
Anyway, making up all these stories causes me to want to write. At this point I’d love to say that I want to write something profound and deep that you will love and then share with all your friends and be all, “Look at this amazing writer that I know!”
But instead I’m going to be real and give you the thought diarrhea that makes me question if it was a good idea to stop therapy.
Today on the way to work I saw a truck that had one of those “How’s my driving” sticker with a phone number you can call, I guess to tell them how they are driving. Does anybody actually call these numbers? Because I was thinking about making one and using a Google Voice number and then making the voicemail Dominic Toretto’s famous quote. Then never returning the calls.
I video’d myself making some soap not long ago. It was the one and only time that my soap actually accelerated and I was lucky just to get the shit into the mold and it’s the soap I like the least of all the soap I’ve ever made. I watch soapers on YouTube make beautiful creations that are perfectly crafted and shot from the perfect angle and of all the soap videos I’ve ever watched I’ve yet to hear a single soaper drop an F-bomb. I feel like I need to upload my video and title it “How To Do Everything Fucking Wrong When Making Soap: A Cautionary Tale”.
It annoys me that people think SSRIs contain serotonin. They don’t. Your body makes serotonin and taking an SSRI doesn’t give you more or make your body make more serotonin. It just blocks your body from reabsorbing the serotonin it makes, thus allowing the neurotransmitter to tell you brain that YOU DON’T WANT TO BE DEPRESSED BECAUSE DEPRESSION IS STUPID before being sucked back into oblivion and never getting that message across. Exercise HAS been shown to increase the amount your body produces though. So when people tell you to go out for a walk or to work out (if you can, I get that sometimes not enough serotonin makes this impossible) they aren’t just being a dick.
Okay I should get going. Hopefully my dad will be here soon to pick me up and I can’t wait to pull his finger.