Drugs are bad, MKAY?

I make an extremely horrible sick person. I know lots of people want to be babied and have their significant other around to help them out. Bring them soup and water, make sure you’re taking your medicine, remind you that you need to take a shower because, come on, it’s been three days lady, I can smell you from downstairs. I am not one of these people. Leave me alone, let me sleep and stop telling me what to do. I don’t want soup. Soup is horrible and I don’t want to eat it when I’m WELL why in the world would you think that now that I don’t feel good I’d want to eat salty water? GROSS.

So when I started to feel bad at the end of last week I didn’t really say anything. Looking back, I should have gone to Urgent Care on Friday when my head hurt bad enough that I was having problems concentrating at work. But no! If I don’t go to see a doctor then, technically, I’m not sick yet! Plus we had tickets to see Rush. PRIORITIES.

Again, Saturday I should have gone when I worked out and had to breathe through the pain in my head when my heart rate would rise while throwing around 15 pounds above my head.

Then on Sunday around the time that Breaking Bad started…

Hold on. Moment of silence for Mr. White.

Okay, on Sunday when I sat down to watch Breaking Bad I was in some pretty serious pain. I should have stayed home Monday morning and gone to the doctor. But I was not ready to admit I was sick yet!

Then Monday was kind of a haze. Like, watch the clock, pass the seconds because OMG THE PAIN IN MY HEAD. I was actually really productive but in so much pain I couldn’t even remember what I had done all day on the way out to my car. Even then I was trying to talk myself out of going to Urgent Care on the way home.

Just get home. Take a nap. You’ll be fine.

Except I got to my freeway junction and couldn’t remember the drive there or focus on the sign in front of me so instead of heading South for home, I went North. To Urgent Care.

And then I spent an hour waiting to be yelled at by a doctor that said I should have been there on Friday. heh

The next 24 hours are pretty much a blur. Well, except for the two hours it took me to get home because all three lanes of the freeway were closed during rush hour because people are stupid and don’t know how to drive and cause multicar pileups when I JUST WANT TO GO HOME.

After that though, pretty fuzzy because of the antibiotic, the aspirin, the nose spray and then the two Benadryl. There was sleeping, then Ben came home, then more sleeping, then my stomach was all OMG WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!? DID YOU EAT TACO BELL THEN FILL US WITH MEDICINE!? AHAHAHAHAH DUMBASS. Then nausea. Oh my God the nausea. Then sleep. Then ALARM CLOCK. WHY IS THERE AN ALARM CLOCK!? Then I emailed my boss. Then WHY IS BEN’S ALARM CLOCK TALKING TO ME!? SHUT IT UP OH MY GOD!? Then sleep. Then food. I think I cooked oatmeal? Ben talked to me about running? Then there was more Benadryl. Then more sleep. Kumo and Danica had unicorn horns and pulled my sled to Narnia but there wasn’t a Lion, just a lot of snow and Dogicorns and I was disappointed that they just pooped normal poop. UNICORN POOP IS A LIE. Then somehow there was more food consumed so that I could take more Benadryl and dream more.

The medicine haze wore off around the time that Ben came home and I’m pretty sure we ate Mexican food. Yeah. Pretty sure I ate nachos.

So then Wednesday I was like, maybe I should take the day off again? Instead I did exactly what I SHOULDN’T do. I decided to make up for all the sleeping the day before by doing ALL THE THINGS.

FOUREYES!

GET UP!

GO TO WORK!

PICK UP CASSIDY FROM SCHOOL!

PICK UP HER ADORABLE NEW GLASSES AT THE OPHTHALMOLOGIST!

GROCERY STORE!

DROP HER OFF AT APPOINTMENT!

GO HOME! PLAY WITH DOGS! CLEAN MASTER BATHROOM WATER CLOSET (Can I just say that I always feel like a complete douchebag when I say water closet but it really sounds SO much better than That One Room We Pee In) AND START LAUNDRY!

PICK UP CASSIDY!

COSTCO! BUY ALL THE THINGS!

COME HOME! PUT ALL THE THINGS AWAY! CLEAN THE KITCHEN!

BEN’S HOME YAY!

GO TO COUNSELING WITH BEN!

COME HOME! YAY! CASSIDY MADE DINNER! EAT THE DINNER!

CLEAN UP KITCHEN!

SIT DOWN!

REALIZE THAT I WAS WAY TOO ACTIVE AND MY HEAD HURTS AND I’M A FOOOOOOOOOL!

START WRITING THIS BLOG.

FALL ASLEEP!

Like I said, I am not a good sick person. Or a good person that is sick but chooses to believe she’s not thus just making herself sicker.

Today was better and tomorrow is Friday which is awesome but also Cassidy’s FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY.

*queue panic attack*

THE END!

TILL NEXT TIME!

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