Anybody that tells you not to cry over spilled milk has never actually SMELLED spilled milk.

Over the last few days my car started to develop a rather odd smell. I just brushed it off as a food container and when I got home from work Monday I made sure to take the only one out of my car. It was empty and had been cleaned but I figured the California heat had somehow baked some leftover smell out of it and went on my way.

Then I went to get in my car this morning. And I opened the door. And a smell so strong came out that it melted the paint off the wall seven feet away.

I turned the car on then set about tearing the inside apart trying to figure out where the hell the smell was coming from. There was nothing! A blanket we put on the back seat for Kumo and two hoodies. I even pulled up the carpets to smell them and nothing.

I got back in the car figuring I’d just try to figure it out later but when I got in and closed the door the smell was too strong to try and ignore. Then it dawned on me to check the trunk.

And I opened the trunk. And the smell was so bad it melted the paint off the cars in a 20 mile radius. And there is was: A completely full gallon of milk I bought LAST THURSDAY. Well, by this morning it wasn’t so much milk as a watery substance filled with what looked like a lovely aged mozzarella.

Last Thursday after work I ran to the grocery store thinking that I’d grab a few essentials for the three day weekend, including TWO gallons of milk. When I got home I asked Cassidy to empty my trunk. She emptied it then put all the groceries away for me and I never thought to CHECK because WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG IN THAT PROCESS!? I mean, I figured the worst thing that could have happened is that there would be a can of corn in the peas row. And people, there is NOTHING that drives me more nuts than my canned veggies not to be in order. If I know there is a can in the wrong place I actually have problems falling asleep at night.

I learned my lesson for sure. Friday, Saturday and Sunday my car went pretty much unused but yesterday it sat out in the glaring sun for 9 hours. If you can’t quite wrap your mind around just how insulting that smell would be I invite you to walk to your closest neighbor’s house at high noon, dive head first into their garbage can and take a few minutes to really let the full aroma envelope you. That’s what it felt like driving home from work today.

I did, fior just a plit second, wonder how we were almost out of milk on Sunday morning when I had just gotten TWO gallons on Thursday evening. The answer was that only one of them had made it into the house.

Anybody that tells you not to cry over spilled milk has never actually SMELLED spilled milk.

12 thoughts on “Anybody that tells you not to cry over spilled milk has never actually SMELLED spilled milk.

  1. Oh dear god, I bet the stench was atrocious! The worst I’ve dealt with is a few milk-containing sippy cups that had been left out at room temperature for a few days, a week or two at most. And I thought those were bad… at least they weren’t steaming in 100 degree temps!

    So how’s your car now?

  2. On time my sister spilt a half gallon of milk down the crack in the passenger seat one hot Las Vegas summer. No one would drive with her for the next 2 months. That smell doesn’t come out easy. I feel for you.

  3. Oh god. OHHHHH god. I can only imagine how that smells. Dustin has done close to the same thing to me, except it was winter thank god. Instead of baked milk, I got frozen solid and almost splitting the sides milk. I now check the trunk when he says he has gotten all the groceries out of it.

  4. Ahhhhhh, I bet that was absolutely gross. I remember we went on vacation once and my sister left a thing of milk out on the counter before we left. It was absolutely nasty and stunk the whole house.

  5. I’m glad to hear that so many people have born witness to The Stench. I don’t feel so alone in my suffering now!

    @Jenn It wasn’t that bad on the way to work. Last night before bed I dumped a bunch of Baking Powder in my trunk (it had been cleaned with carpet cleaner earlier in the day), sprayed the hell out of some Febreez and opened the windows and moon roof all the way. I was a little worried when I walked into the garage this morning and smelled the faint odor but the car itself wasn’t that bad. I sprayed some more Febreez, started the car then went back in the house to grab my lunch stuff so on the way here, it was okay.

    What I’m worried about is how it’s going to smell on the way home after being out in the sun again all day. Of course JUST LAST WEEKEND cut down all the trees in out parking lot so there is no shade. On the plus side, it’s only supposed to be in the low 80’s today in Palo Alto so FINGERS CROSSED.

    I have the can of Febreez just in case…

  6. I can’t even imagine how bad that must smell. I left coffee with a little bit of milk in it in my car for a day or two and even that started to smell a little funky.

  7. yep my car smells almost the same way right now, the baby i nanny his bottles always leak. so its in my rugs and the car seat. i should ust hide baking soda under my seat

  8. OMG I almost peed my pants – I thought I was the ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD to NOT realize I’d left a gallon of milk in the car.

    When I was 20, it rolled out of a grocery bag and wedged itself under the passenger seat out of sight. I’d bought a 2-pack instead of my usual one carton and was completely oblivious to the fact one went missing.

    A week later, we drove on a 20 hour road trip to MN and the car just kept getting progressively worse. I was CONVINCED my boyfriend was silently shitting his pants and lying about it. He was convinced it was me. GAG worthy.

    Finally someone IN Minnesota was like OMG THATS NOT ASS and we located it — but I can confirm. It takes AGES to get rid of. We drove the entire twenty hours back to CA with the windows down and it still took weeks to completely leave.

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