Don’t judge me.

After coming across these while surfing the endless spance of the bloggesphere today, I decided that they were too cute not to attempt. Simple instructions. Cheap supplies. And I thought it would be cute to personalize them and send them with Christmas packages.

I’m not crafty. After spending an hour IN THE GLUE ISLE at Michaels I was already realizing that this might be one more in a long line of crafting failures. See, when people tell me these things are SO SIMPLE I think they do so with the false assumption that they are talking to somebody that can glue things together successfully. I am NOT that person.

It’s always one simple little step that throws me all off. In this case, they did not have the glue listed on the instructions. I guess Christmas is a popular season for a run on clear silicone sealer. I asked three different sales people about this and all of them looked at me like I was sent there by Satan himself to pick up the Sacred Glue of Death. One lady went so far as to tell me their daily sales numbers starting with Black Friday. Like their daily profit had something to do with me FINDING MY FUCKING GLUE.

I read every single glue packaging there. I am now a craft glue/epoxy expert. After what seemed like HOURS surrounded by women who were clearly more crafty than myself and more than willing to point that fact out, I decided on an alternative. It’s made by the Super Glue people like the stuff I was SUPPOSED to get AND it’s made for glass AND it dries clear AND it doesn’t have the toxic stoned inducing power that is rather unappropriated for a seven year old. (And I guess me too. Although I wonder sometimes if these things wouldn’t go better if I DID have the toxic high). Those, to me, seemed like the major selling points.

Did I say before that I read the WHOLE package? It doesn’t really matter. SOMEHOW I missed that the glue I got was UV reactive. Now, the geek in me thought, “UV reactive glue!!! Sweeeeeet!” The uncrafty foolish loon in me DIDN’T think, “Wow, better not attempt to make these at night and expect the glue to set!!”

Oh well, tomorrow is another day. And by day, I mean when the UV radiating sun is out.

4 thoughts on “Don’t judge me.

  1. You know what…everyone says that those damn magnets are so fucking simple…they’re not. they are the biggest pain in the ass ever. You have to put a little bit of glue on the picture…and it obscures the picture and then…ARG. It’s not easy.

  2. heh, what you should have done honey, is go to dictionary.com and look up crafty. They define it as “Skilled in or marked by underhandedness, deviousness, or deception”. Sounds like your craft store competitors knew this. They are more dangerous than they appear. I’d urge…caution.

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