So… Ben’s dad and beautiful step-mom Kandy got me a gift card for Gap for Christmas. I was in DIRE need of some new pants as my favorite pair now has a hole in the knee due to a stair-rain-fall incident. My second pair suddnly grew a hole in the crotch that’s rather small but since I don’t own any neutral color panties whenever I wear the jeans I can hear my crotch screaming LOOK AT ME AND MY BRIGHT PANTIES!!! That leaves me with about five pair of jeans that my ass has outgrown in the last six months.
*jumps back six months* I started that new antidepressant. I took it for about two months and had to stop because it was making my heart beat REALLY weird. And it would drasticaly lower my blood pressure so if I stood up I’d damn near pass out. It was supposed to help me sleep at night and it did that… but it would make me so loopy when I took it that I’d literally be incoherant. AND it made me gain insane amounts of weight. Like, fast. One of the side effects was breast growth. (Ben actallly discovered that while reading about it. HA!) And they did. That was about the only plus side!
Then I started the new birth control, MORE WEIGHT. Not having a period for three months… AWSOME. Gaining more weight.. CRAP!
Anyway, this combined with going from a job where I was on my feet for 8 hours running all over a store and climbing up and down stairs to retrieve heavy boxes to a job where my ass gets 8 hours of chair time has just sent me into this totally unhealthy state.
*Back to the present and the Gap* When I went to try on jeans I literally freaked out. I could not believe that I had to get a size TWO SIZES bigger than what I bought SIX MONTHS ago. I just stood there looking in the mirror, mouth wide open, staring at myelf in utter horror. I’ve never been real skinny. But I’ve always had a really athletic build. I played A LOT of sports when I was young and I had a ‘fit’ body. I decided right then that there was no way I was going to let this continue. I have to lose weight.
Here’s where it gets good. I went to the gym last night. (IPOD’s kick ASS at the gym.) I get on the treadmill. A year ago when Ben and I were working out regularly (four times a week) I was running for 30 minutes at a time.. easily. Yesterday I did a fast walk for about 10 minutes to warm up and started jogging and after FIVE minutes I had to stop because if literally felt like my heart was going to explode and I got really close to feeling like I might black out from lack of oxygen. FIVE MINUTES!
That was a real wake up call for me. Putting on weight is one thing but to be that out of shape is SO unhealthy. Bad for my heart, my lungs, my digestive system… it’s just BAD.
So it’s not just a matter of losing weight at this point, it’s a matter of for my health and well being, I have to get back into shape.
Eating habits have to change and exercise has to become a priority again. I did okay today. Had some fruit for breakfast, a salad with low fat dressing for lunch, then BAM! they had brownies at the orientation and I gave in. Now I look back and I’m really mad at myself for doing that.
I tried to make up for it by doing 30 minutes on the eliptical machine on the weightloss setting (OMG KICKED MY ASS) for 30 minutes about an hour ago but still! If I had just not had that brownie and still dod the eliptical machine I’d have been MUCH better off now!