The other day Cassidy said to me, ‘Mom, am I popular?’ This is what followed:
Me: Of course you are honey, you have lots of friends don’t you?
Cassidy: Some of the kids at school said that Elizabeth and I aren’t popular.
Me: *Well, maybe if I go to school and beat thier little asses they won’t think that anymore… Wait, don’t say that. That’s probably not the ‘mom’ way to handle this.* Who said that?
Cassidy: Three kids.
Me: *Maybe I’ll kick thier parents asses too for raising such asshole kids… Nope, can’t say that.* Can you tell me who?
At this point she pretty much clamed up. She started naming random people and I could tell she was trying to come up with names. I think that some of the kids in daycare told her that becasuse she said ‘me and Elizabeth’ which is the new friend she made. Elizabeth is new to the area and is going into first grade too. She is a very quite, very withdrawn girl but she absolutley comes to life whenever Cassidy is around. They have such a good time together but Elizabeth really won’t interact with any of the other kids.
I have a feeling that since the other kids don’t really like Elizabeth because she’s so shy, Cassidy is getting crap from them too because these are the kids that used to BEG me to let Cassidy stay late and who all ran up and asked me when she’d be back when I was enrolling her before she came home from her dad’s house.
I’m not really sure what to say to her about it. I know that I’d be very uset with her if she stopped playing with Elizabeth because the other kids are being this way… but I also don’t want her to feel bad becuase she is not ‘popular’. Part of me is telling me that I need to let her grow up and deal with it how she sees fit and the other part of me wants to find out who the little kids are and discuss it with Mrs. Kaycee (daycare director) and possible parents.
*sigh* I just don’t know what to do!! I didn’t think the ‘popular’ card would be laid out on the table yet! She’s only 5 for Christ’s Sake!
Wow I can’t believe how young these clique’s start:( I went through this with Heather in 3rd grade! I pretty much told her to pick her friends and not worry about what everyone else thinks. Also I would reinforce the idea that if she’s a good person she will have tons of friends. Maybe talk with her and see what her idea of popular is, kids have these funny definitions, lol. My guess is that the other kids are jealous of this shy little girl playing with Cassidy exclusively, so you may talk to Cassidy about that. Suggest some games or something that everyone can play and have Cassidy suggest them to everyone. Good luck, this is when parenthood really starts messing with ya:box:
BTW when Ethan was in about 2nd or 3rd Grade I did actually ask him who was making fun of him so I could go kick both their and their parents ass!! I’m embarrassed to say it but I really wanted too!!
I dont remember that but i remember the “popular” and such cliques really didnt start until jr. high. I know we thought we were we popular but we all talked to each other.
:heart: Me
LOL!! Well there ya go, she doesn’t even remember:roll: I guess that’s proof that this too shall pass! I think us Mom’s take it worse than the kids really. I remember it well;)
you need to be careful of this girl becoming dependant upon your daughter as her only source of friendship
your daughter should not be or have the burden of being this girls sole source of companionship….it would not be healthy for either of them
there will come a time when your daughter will be in an activity without her and you do not want that to turn to resentment from this girl believing she and your daughter are joined at the hip
i am not aying your daughter should choose the others over her, but she should encourage this girl to join in with others as well
if this does not work eventually there could be a time when your daughter could have to make this choice…and to me there would be nothing wrong if she choose the others over this girl
you could perhaps talk to the girls parents and say how much your daughter enjoys playing with her, but you worry their daughter is not “expanding her own horizions”
good luck